Final Crack: Meet All The Finalists For The Last Ever Miss Bumbum Competition

I know there are a lot of things that a daughter can do to make her father proud of her, but I think earning the title of Miss Bumbum is perhaps the greatest of them all. That is why it devastates me so to hear that there will no longer be a Miss Bumbum competition. My own daughter is still too young to compete—she also does not exist yet, but that is not the point—so she is destined to be a disappointment to my family name.

I think a woman of my stock could have brought a lot to the competition that is currently missing. Namely a name that is easy to pronounce, but there are other things too. She would also have a great personality, because if she comes from my genes then it is a guarantee that she is not going to be much of a looker. She probably won’t have much of a bum either if she takes after her future mother, so the cards would really be stacked against her.

Perhaps I should take this into account when choosing future mates. Just in case the Miss Bumbum competition gets brought back it might be a good idea to be prepared.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA