Ferne McCann Knows How To Showcase Her Best Assets

I have always found Ferne to be an odd name to pick for a woman. Unless they are a New Zealander—and boy do they love their ferns—I really do not see why you would. It is a pretty boring plant, if you ask me. There are no flowers, no poison, nothing of note. Wishing that upon your child seems kind of petty.

Unless that was Ferne’s parents plan. They knew their daughter was going to be a bombshell, so they had to try to dress her down in every way that they could. That kind of makes sense.

See, I know my kid is going to come out looking like a dog’s shaved ass, so I will need to give him a leg up in any way that I can. For my first act as the greatest dad to have ever lived I am going to make his middle name Horsecock. Using it as a first name would be too obvious, and make it difficult for him to have a job in politics. Although with the way society is going it might actually work in his favor, those heathens.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA