Fergalicious Sucks At Singing American Anthems

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elliot-wolf - February 20, 2018

It’s officially time to pack your bags and go home forever when Roseanne Barr believes that she’s better at doing something you’ve made an entire solo career out of. Fergie was invited to sing the national anthem for the NBA All-Star game and failed miserably. She suffered from the same pretentious sickness most singers fall victim to, butchering a simple song because they couldn’t resist the urge to put their own personal twist on it. If it’s not broken, what is there to fix? There’s nothing sensual or sexy about the American National Anthem. But Fergie did her best to channel the spirit of Marilyn Monroe in a seance before taking stage and succeeded. There were happy birthday Mr. President vibes all over her version of The Star-Spangled Banner. She’s lucky America is above cover-ups this day and age otherwise she might have “accidentally overdosed” as well after such a treasonous performance.

The former Black Eyed Peas singer opened the game with a non-traditional, sexier version of "The Star-Spangled Banner," causing confusion and harsh criticism from viewers.

I don’t personally blame Fergie for this mishap. If anyone is at fault it’s the Black Eyed Peas. Somehow their terrible tunes always made it to the number one spot on Billboard. Fergie probably felt like she could get away with anything when she belonged to a group that had a transexual werewolf and every hit single sounded like three minutes of constant queefing.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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