Sam Robeson - December 28, 2018
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NOT CLICKBAIT. JK it is. Heidi Klum is living proof that you can still find love when you're one-hundred-years-old and you look like the skin of your former self stretched over a T-800. Technically her bod is in great shape, but she still looks like she's full of marbles. Anyway we're not here to talk about Heidi. We're here to talk about the piece she's banging now that her Seal days are long behind her. Basically Heidi has the hots for wildly ugly guys, and I stan.
Why do I stan? Because even a formerly hot woman getting with a guy who looks like Criss Angel's skin tag means that there's hope for the rest of us. Sure we're ugly as fuck. But look at this douchebag. His name is Tom Kaulitz, he's twenty-nine-years-old, and he's set to marry one of the most famous models in the world. And Heidi is so in love with him that - if we're strictly going by this gross bed selfie that everyone's queefing on about right now - she died in his arms. The bitch looks dead. And he looks like Criss Angel. Klum probably doesn't feel like she can do much better that this point if we're being honest. Getting old is sad.
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