Bikinis Posts:

Nina Agdal Wicked Hot Beach Bikini Bunny of My Dreams

It's unclear whether these are functional bikinis for swimming and splashing, or more lingerie type items designed for Nina Agdal to remind some incredibly lucky bastard that he hit the girlfriend jackpot as he watches her slink around the room in these shiny little two piece numbers from Beach Bunny.

Nina Agdal wouldn't be allowed to wear any clothing if she were my gal, you know, slash Danish indentured servant whose passport mysteriously went missing along with all her cell phones and texting devices. She just looks so damn stellar fine in tiny little bits of bras and panties and thongs and other little bits of material fortunate to be rubbing up against Nina's lady parts. Oh, to come back as a bikini wedged into Nina Agdal's waxed areas. That is the reincarnation dream. Enjoy.

Vivica Mitra Bikini Turns Heads Pimping Water and Making Friends

Oh, my oh my. Just when I've had way too much expensive bottled water pimping along comes half-Indian hottie Vivica Mitra and her splendidly exotic good looks and ridiculously hot bikini body selling the very same on the shores of Malibu. How can I dislike a consumer products venture that brings much skin to the forefront of their marketing efforts? That would be almost un-Egotastic.

Vivica Mitra's struts across the sandy SoCal shorelines reminds me of about half the dreams I have each evening, or about ten thousand, involving a sextastic multi-ethnic hottie walking toward me whispering what I believe to be is 'take me now, Bill' but only when she gets close do I realize is actually 'can you maybe not stare at me so much'. Such is the tragic nature of my life. To be so close to lust, but never to fully taste. Enjoy.

Cynthia Escobar Bikini Hot Sides Show Off Poolside in Vegas

I've never met Cynthia Escobar, I'm going to assume she's a good and decent and smart woman. And, there's something else about this Spanish model I have to say I admire as well. Yes, you got me. Her proper use of skincare products and SPF suntan protection layers. I bet you thought I was going to say her enormous cans and crazy hot asstastic. Like you know me so well after all these years.

Cynthia was hanging poolside in Vegas just to remind the guys the kind of girlfriend they might someday have if they hit their roulette number, oh, four to five times in a row. Barring that, you better tell some wicked funny jokes in Spanish and look like Antonio Banderas or what happens in Vegas may just be staying in your pants. I twisted that slogan to teach you a lesson about leering. It costs nothing and nobody's feelings get hurt. Cynthia, I'm sorry to rudely interrupt. Please go back to crawling all over those lounge chairs in your undersized bikini. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping Bikiniworld Hotness, That’s A Lot of Bikini

I've not heard of Bikiniworld, but it sounds like a place I'd like to live. I can have all of my stuff in a U-Haul in under 45 minutes at this point, gassed up, and ready to go. Joanna Krupa who is sort of my girlfriend though she doesn't know it yet stars in the latest catalog pics for Bikiniworld and she will probably move many units. If I were a woman (oh, dare to dream) I'd probably purchase into anything that I thought might make me look anything as alluring as Joanna Krupa in these two pieces numbers.

I consider myself fortunate that the baggy swimsuit I've been sporting since the last millenium still fits and only gets modest jeers and put downs by the pool. I can't imagine having to upgrade the swimwear every year, let alone every season. But as a service to our readers, I will naturally keep my peeps to the bikini promotional circuit, it's a thankless job, but I'm not good with 'you're welcomes'. Enjoy.


Abby Cubey Bikini Hot Filipina Lust Inducement Time in Malibu

Whoa, baby. If you happen to love petite minxy hot Filipina girls like your Uncle Bill does, then you are in for a real treat. The weird birds at 138 Water have brought out model and singer Abby Cubey to show off her bikini hot bodily wares in Malibu to pimp their water. Another day, another blessedly hot girl in a bikini who probably won't move any units of water, but she will stir many other units if you know what I'm saying. I'm not even sure I know what I'm saying half the time.

Abby Cubey reminds me that this entire globe is a hot spot for hot women. I love this planet for all of its natural resources. If I wasn't born here, I'd have to invade. I bet Jupiter doesn't have nearly this insane amount of sextastic women on their beaches. They don't even have beaches. Or women. Thank your lucky stars, earthling. Enjoy.

Rachel Hilbert Candidly Flashes Her Bikini Body Behind the Scenes of a Victoria’s Secret Shoot

Wow, when Victoria's Secret sets about to reload its stable of sextastic young ladies in swimsuits and lingerie, it does so rather seriously and voluminously. Add to the clipboard of seemingly never-ending hotties the name of Rachel Hilbert, blonde, young, crazy hot bodied and pulling her thong out of her perfect tush on Miami Beach in an attempt to sell more bikinis for the industry leader.

Rachel reminds us once again that the sextastic is a nonstop river of goodness that flows continuously with new and fresh talent galore. She also reminds me that it's probably time to do a few crunches so she doesn't have to control her disappointed looks when I remove my tank top and ask her if she'd like to play pickle ball at my place. Rachel, you are welcome at my door any hour of the day, though I would prefer a time when all my neighbors can see you coming over. I need the gossip bump. Enjoy.

Nadine Leopold Splish Splash Lip Slipping Bikini Hot Body Shoot in Maui (Hide the Children!)

Oh, that my full time job were to take photos of hot Austrian models splashing in bikinis in the shorelines of Hawaii. I mean, an actual paid job as opposed to just doing it as an unlicensed and trespassing amateur typically chased down by 5-0.  It would be easier. Plus I could actually pay my Netflix bill.

Nadine Leopold of hot European bikini bodily fame was in our 50th state practicing her preening and posing and leaping into the water moves to pimp some bikini line, whilst her outstanding female form, and intimate parts therein, yearned to be free of her two piece swimwear. Have lip will slip. It's going to happen. And when it happens to hot girls, all the better. I mean, shame on me for looking, but, yay on the down low. Nadine, you are a water nymph indeed. Enjoy.