OH! MY! GOD! I want to break something! I woke up this morning, expecting to look for some trivial gossip, or hot pictures to post, and what do I find? PARIS HILTON IS OUT OF JAIL!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!! After only 3 days. Not 45 days. Not even 23 days. 3 fucking days. Bitch didn't even serve a goddam week in jail. The prison spokesman was saying it was 5 days, but I don't where he learned his maths.
I am so angry.
According to TMZ.com, Paris will finish the remainder of her sentence, 40 days, under house arrest. But that's retarded. I spend all day in my tiny apartment, and I didn't nearly kill everyone in Los Angeles because I decided to have 18 Cosmos and an 8-ball before getting on the road. And Paris' house is a hell of a lot bigger than my apartment.
They were also citing medical reasons for her release, but if anything that must have been to keep the general population safe from whatever crabs are crawling around Paris's coked out crotch. Some say it's because she wasn't eating the food. Hello, she never eats any food. How's that a good enough reason to let her out!?
I am so fucking angry.
Now, the photo of Paris in the pink dress with the ankle monitor is actually a composite job, but I bet you she'll have it covered in tacky diamonds by the end of the day.
Photo credit: Splash