Well, the Cannes Film Festival is happening right now, so you know what that means: Really bad Cannes puns! That's right, we'll be making lame jokes, puns, and alliterations about how breasts are also called "cans," and how "cans" sounds like "Cannes." I know, it revolutionary, completely original, and there is no way you could ever get sick of it. Oh, and just forget that I spent a whole week making the same jokes last year at this time, OK?
Anyways, we're starting it all off with those wonderful juggs, those spectacular boobies, those miraculous mammaries. Yes, I'm talking about Jessica Simpson's breasts. Then again, when am I not talking about Jessica Simpson's breasts? Whatever, she was wearing a somewhat revealing dress at a party in Cannes, and that means she qualifies to be a target of my retardedness.
So here they are: Jessica Simpson's cans at Cannes! And no, I'm not proud of myself.
Update: People is reporting that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are dunzo, except not so much. According to a "close friend," the couple break up and get back together again more often than they brush their teeth.
"They have broken up," says the source. "But they have broken up and gotten back together at least ten times before."
Whatever. Back to the boobies...