Janet Jackson's Breasts Are Bolted On

12:54 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson's breasts are kind of freaking me out. It's not like fake breasts are anything new, but hers look as though they've been bolted on. Maybe that's what that weird flap of skin between her breasts is. Or maybe it's the quick-release button, for when she wants to bolt on another set.

Of course, with a fake nose, eye job, and face lift, there really isn't much about Janet Jackson that's still actually hers. At least not anything that didn't come with a receipt.

People say Michael Jackson is a freak. I don't think there's anyone in the Jackson family that you can't say that about.

More pictures of Janet Jackson's freakish breasts after the jump.

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Janet Jackson Topless and Grabbing Her Breasts

12:25 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

I think Janet Jackson is trying to prove something. It's either that she's skinny again, or that she still has breasts. But I'm not sure which.

In August we saw Janet Jackson topless in FHM, and now here we have Janet Jackson topless again. This time in V Magazine.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure the world is aware that Janet Jackson has breasts. We all saw them (or at least one of them) at the Superbowl, and that crazy sun-shaped nipple shield piercing is pretty hard to forget. So what exactly is her point?

I don't know, and I don't particularly care. I also think Janet's not entirely covering her nipple in the first picture...

Link: Janet Jackson Topless and Grabbing Her Breasts

Janet Jackson Looks Bizarre in Bazaar

01:21 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

I'm not sure if it's the Photoshop, or the plastic surgery, but in these new pictures from the December issue of Harper's Bazaar magazine, Janet Jackson looks really, really weird.

She looks like a cross between the Alien Queen and Michael Jackson, but with darker skin and fake breasts. It's really creeping me out, and if it's not creeping you out, then there's something wrong with you.

Seriously. Creepy.

Link: Janet Jackson Looks Bizarre in Bazaar

2006 Billboard Awards Moderately Mega Picture Post

12:02 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

So, I started watching the Billboard Awards, and then I remembered I hate Award Shows. And then I remembered that Heroes was on, so I went and watched that, and had a much better night.

And trust me, even though you might think that Janet Jackson looking like the lady gremlin from Gremlins 2, Gwen Stefani looking like Egon Spengler from the Ghostbusters cartoon, Denise Richards looking like The Bride of Frankenstein, and Courtney Love looking like, well, Courtney Love would make for an entertaining show, you'd be wrong.

No, Award Shows suck, and the Billboard Awards suck really hard. That being said, there are still a whole bunch of pictures of all the ladies in attendance after the jump, so check that shit out.

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Janet Jackson Goes Topless on FHM Cover

12:13 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

It's really amazing what crash dieting, non-stop exercise, and some good old-fashioned Photoshop can do these days. Just a few short months ago (okay, eight or nine months ago), Janet Jackson was really fat. I mean really fat. But now, why, just look at her.

Sure she might look good in these pictures from FHM magazine, topless as she is, but think for a second. Consider how much work must have gone into these photos. From make-up, to lighting, to computer aided retouching.

But with a title saying "I've never worn this little," you'd expect the magazine to make sure she looks good, no matter what the cost. And frankly, I'm glad they did, because who wants to look at an aging pop star who probably has the worst stretch marks in the business? Not I, that's who.

All that being said. Janet Jackson topless on the cover of FHM is still pretty hot.

Link: Janet Jackson Goes Topless on FHM Cover

Janet Jackson: Worst. Breasts. Ever.

01:15 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Okay, so Janet Jackson may have lost a ton of weight recently, which is comendable and all that, (though why she gained it in the first place, I still don't understand) but it looks as though in her haste to show off her newly fit figure, she seems to have forgotten that she has one of the worst boob jobs ever.

As if her Super Bowl incident wasn't bad enough, what with that crazy nipple ring, now she is making small children grown men everywhere cry at the sight of that hideous cleavage.

Please Janet, put them away. They're not flattering, and some of us just ate lunch.

More Janet Jackson cleavage pictures after the jump.

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Janet Jackson: Fat No More (Part 3)

01:53 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson keeps getting skinnier. I guess if your record label threatens not to release your album until you lose weight, you're probably gonna go out and lose some weight. Still makes you wonder why she ballooned up in the first place. Oh well, I guess the girl likes her Ho-Hos.

Previously in the ongoing Fat Janet Jackson Saga:
Janet Jackson: Fat No More (Part 3)
Janet Jackson: Fat No More
Janet Jackson Too Fat to Sing
Janet Jackson is Fat, but Exercising
Janet Jackson: Fat as Ever
Janet Jackson: Still Fat
Janet Jackson is Fat

Link: Janet Jackson: Fat No More (Part 3)

Janet Jackson: Fat No More (Part 2)

12:53 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Wow, Janet Jackson has really lost a ton of weight. And fast. It's actually pretty impressive to see. It was astounding to see how fat Janet Jackson got, and it's just as impressive to see how fast she's lost all that weight. Of course, having ten personal trainers, and six personal chefs probably helps. And I'm sure she has a dedicated staf for hiding the HoHos too.

Previously:
Janet Jackson: Fat No More
Janet Jackson Too Fat to Sing
Janet Jackson is Fat, but Exercising
Janet Jackson: Fat as Ever
Janet Jackson: Still Fat
Janet Jackson is Fat

Link: Janet Jackson: Fat No More (Part 2)

Janet Jackson: Fat No More

12:13 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Well, well. It looks like Janet Jackson really has lost all that weight she gained. A lot of people had written in about how she has these weight gain cycles, but I thought that was all crap. I guess not. Still, this cannot be healthy for her at all. Thanks to TMZ for the scoop

Previously:
Janet Jackson Too Fat to Sing
Janet Jackson is Fat, but Exercising
Janet Jackson: Fat as Ever
Janet Jackson: Still Fat
Janet Jackson is Fat

Link: Janet Jackson: Fat No More

Janet Jackson is Too Fat to Sing

11:11 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Janet Jackson

Have you ever wondered what happens to pop stars who were once thin and sexy, but then balloon up in weight so that they're hardly recognizable? Well, in the case of Janet Jackson, her record label, Virgin Records, is refusing to release her latest album until Jackson loses weight, and returns to her former size. Page Six reports that this latest humiliation is just another in a long line of unpleasant events in Janet Jackson's life, of late.

"Janet had a really bad year," our spy said. "After the incident at the Super Bowl [two years ago], it just went downhill. Her album 'Damita Jo' was a flop. Then her brother Michael had the child-molestation trial - it just wasn't good to her."

Jackson found solace in food and, as recent photos will attest, has packed on the pounds. "This new album is supposed to be pretty good, but Virgin feels it can't market it without Janet being back in fighting form, so they have hired her a personal trainer and put her on a diet. She has to lose at least 20 pounds."

But a pal said: "Janet always gains weight when she's not working - and always loses it in time to promote her albums. Janet always takes care of it when it matters."

20 pounds!? It looks to me like she's gonna need to lose a lot more than that to be anywhere near her former glory. In all honesty, though, I'm fine with her staying the way she is. Who needs another Janet Jackson album, anyway?

Previously:
Janet Jackson is Fat, but Exercising
Janet Jackson Fat as Ever
Janet Jackson: Still Fat
Janet Jackson is Fat

Link: Janet Jackson is Too Fat to Sing