Heidi Montag Playboy Pictures Suck

11:33 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

If you needed any more proof that Playboy magazine has gone to complete shit, I present, for your viewing displeasure, the much hyped, and totally crap Heidi Montag "nude" pictures. Of course, the first thing you'll notice is that Heidi Montag did not actually get naked. At least not in the way you'd expect from Playboy. I don't know why you'd even want to see her disgusting fake breasts naked, but she's keeping them covered, because she's a fucking annoying tease. Why Playboy didn't kick her dumb ass to the curb the minute she said she wouldn't pose nude is beyond me. I always thought Hugh Hefner had balls, but I guess that's why he's relying on the Viagra these days. And if Heidi's ugly mug doesn't scare you on it's own, just wait till you see what they did to her face with all their Photoshop retouching. I didn't think it was possible to make her look uglier (especially after all her plastic surgery), but these geniuses actually made it happen. Good job Playboy. You officially suck.

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Heidi Montag Nude in Playboy?

12:23 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

Raise your hand if you want to see Heidi Montag nude in Playboy magazine. I will assume no one raised their hands. The rumour going through the Tubes of the Interweb (most likely started by Heidi herself) is that the rediculously annoying and vapid Hills douchette, and her douche husband, The Pratt, are in talk with Playboy to have Heidi pose nude for $500,000. I didn't think Playboy even had $500,000 left, but if they do, why spend it on that fake hag. They have plenty of other fake hags they can put in their magazine who are hotter, cuter, and smarter (and much less annoying). And even though we've already seen Audrina Patridge nude, I'd much rather see her in Playboy than Heidi.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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Heidi Montag Honeymoon Bikini Pictures from Mexico... Yes, Mexico

12:24 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

If you were wondering just how stupid Heidi Montag and her now douchebag husband, Spencer Pratt are, here they are on their honeymoon in Mexico. You know, the country that most governments are warning their citizens NOT to visit, because of a little thing called SWINE FLU!!! Of course, the authorities probably "forgot" to tell Heidi and Spencer about the Swine Flu "by accident." Here's hoping the hotel staff sneezes on all their sheets, food and drinks...

Anyway, here's hoping these Heidi Montag bikini pictures are the last.

Photo credit: NPG

Link: Heidi Montag Honeymoon Bikini Pictures from Mexico... Yes, Mexico

I Hate Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures

12:38 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

I hate Heidi Montag. I hate her douchefuck fake husband, Spencer Pratt. I hate her fake tits, her fake lips, her fake nose, and her fake life. I wish she'd crawl into the same hole that Osama Bin Laden is hiding in, because then a least we'd know we woud never find her again. I hate the way she's posing for these stupid bikini pictures on her fake fucking honeymoon in Mexico. Enjoy.

For those of you that don't know, Pratt is actually another word for asshole. It's true. It's never been truer.

Lots more stupid fucking Heidi Montag bikini pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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Heidi Montag is Sorry for Her Crappy Video

01:13 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

I wasn't going to post Heidi Montag's new music video for her "song," Overdosin', because I fucking hate her, and her "music" is shit. She sucks, and all things connected to her suck. Including her fake tits, fake nose, fake lips, and fake boyfriend.

That being said, it turns out she's even more retarded than everyone thought, since she actually uploaded the wrong video to YouTube. That's right, the only reason I'm writing about her crappy video is so that you can laugh at it (even more than you would have originally laughed at it). Shit, she can't even lip-sync properly in a music video.

Watch the Video:

Heidi Montag Overdosin' Music Video

Lots more pictures of Heidi Montag looking like a slutty version of a 1980s Barbie Doll (but more plastic), after the jump.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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2008 MTV Movie Awards Mega Picture Post

01:37 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

I didn't even know the 2008 MTV Movie Awards were on last night, but it wouldn't have made a difference, since I don't get MTV. But don't worry if you missed it, because MTV will be replaying the show all summer. Doesn't that make you feel better? I didn't think so. Anyway, here are all the hot young celebrities who showed up to promote their latest movie, or album, or whatever, by wearing short skirts, and putting on too much makeup, and winning meaningless awards.

Attendees include: Anne Hathaway, Audrina Patridge, Charlize Theron, Ellen Page, Emma Stone, Heidi Montag, Katharine McPhee, Kristen Stewart, Lauren Conrad, Lindsay Lohan, Liv Tyler, Meagan Good, Megan Fox, Paris Hilton, Rumer Willis, Tila Tequila, and Whitney Port. You know, the big stars.

Click here to see all the 2008 MTV Movie Awards pictures

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These Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures Are As Fake As Her Breasts

02:44 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag is just about as fake as they come, and these new Heidi Montag bikini pictures are a perfect example. Once again, her "life" has been scripted out for the cameras, and been poorly acted out. I don't even think Heidi Montag is a real person. I mean, you have to actually live your life, not just plan it out as a series of photo ops.

If you think about it (which you probably shouldn't), Heidi Montag is exactly like her breasts. Sort of okay to look at, but completely fake, and filled with a squishy, artificial substance. Also known as Spencer Pratt.

Prat: Slang term for ass. How fitting.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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Lauren Conrad Sex Tape Confirmed

11:54 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

So, that annoying fake couple we all love to hate, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, were on The Tyra Banks Show and CONFIRMED the existence of the Lauren Conrad sex tape. Yes, that Lauren Conrad sex tape. Tyra asked, and Heidi and El Doucheo were more than happy to emphatically confirm that the tape did exist at one point (even though Lauren Conrad denied she had a sex tape). Whether it exists now they couldn't say, and wouldn't, since apparently there is some kind of gag order in place. I bet it's similar to the gag order I feel when I look at Heidi and Spencer.

Heidi said that Lauren's ex was trying to sell the tape, to which Spencer added that he would rather throw up than watch the tape. Again, Spencer is the douche of all douches. I don't care how boring Lauren Conrad is in bed, I'd still want to see that sex tape.

Watch the Video:

Lauren Conrad Sex Tape Confirmed

Photo credit: Getty Images

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Heidi Montag and Britney Spears Make Sweet... Music?

10:14 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

Hey, wanna hear something really sad, and pathetic? Then take a listen to this new song featuring Britney Spears and Heidi Montag, called "Dramatic." Yes, that's right, the two most ridiculous figures in the "music" industry have joined forces in what can only be an attempt at mutual career suicide. Granted, Britney's career was over long, long ago, and Heidi Montag's music career has only ever existed in her own warped mind.

So, you feel like listening to just about the worst song ever recorded in the history of the Universe? You know you do. Oh, and don't forget about Heidi Montag's bikini music video, either. That one's a real gem.

Listen to the Song:

Britney Spears and Heidi Montag "Dramatic"

And here are some Heidi Montag pictures, because as much as she continues to become more and more plastic, at least she's not Britney Spears.

Photo credit: WENN

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Heidi Montag's "Higher" Music Video is Horrible, Has Bikinis

11:18 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Heidi Montag

Oh. My. God. Worst. Music Video. Ever.

Wow, if you hate Heidi Montag, then you are going to love the music video for her first single, "Higher." Yeah, I can't believe they let her sing either. And they really shouldn't have, because she is awful. Just really, super terrible.

The only thing I could discern from the first 15 seconds of this video is that it features Heidi Montag in a bikini, rolling around in the sand, and doing a bunch of fake running and giggling. It's just as pathetic as all those staged bikini pictures we've seen her in.

Apparently the only thing she knows how to do well is wear a bikini. I stopped watching after 15 seconds because it's really that awful. But I'm glad I kept watching, because it actually gets worse. Also, the whole thing was shot by her douchebag boyfriend Spencer Pratt, which makes the whole thing so much better, and so much worse. It's so bad. I mean really, really, really, bad. You'll love it.

You can expect a heidi montag sex tape to follow shortly, I'd bet.

Watch the Videos:

Heidi Montag "Higher" Music Video

Heidi Montag "Higher" Music Video - Making Of

Here are some of the photos taken during this video shoot. Hit the link for more of these Heidi Montag bikini pictures.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

Link: Heidi Montag's "Higher" Music Video is Horrible, Has Bikinis