Hello, I'm Drew Barrymore Bikini Pictures, and I'm a Mac

12:19 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Drew Barrymore

There might have been a time long ago that I would have been jealous of Mac Dork, Justin Long, for getting to romp around on the beach with Drew Barrymore in a bikini, but those days are long gone. Personally, I can't really stand Drew Barrymore. There's something about her that just bugs the crap out of me. I think it's her face.

And while I actually like Justin Long as an actor, his Mac Dork persona is so irritating, that seeing the two of them together, with their pasty white skin, and their annoyingly lovey-dovey grins just makes me want to kick sand in their faces.

That being said, for those of you who care, here are some Drew Barrymore bikini pictures.

Photo credit: Bauer-Griffin

Link: Hello, I'm Drew Barrymore Bikini Pictures, and I'm a Mac

Weekend Links

11:46 AM, Filed under: Home \ Links

Britney Spears leaves the Levis store. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hottest. Jessica Simpson picture. Ever. (CollegeHumor)

More hot Supermodels from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. (eBaum's World)

Damn! Katherine Heigl is sexy. (Popoholic)

Lindsay Lohan does her best impression of Daisy Duke. (CityRag)

Jakki Degg's new calendar is hot. (Horny Oyster)

Nicky Hilton is disgustingly skinny. (DListed)

Hayden Panettiere hits the cover of Seventeen magazine. (Pink is the New Blog)

Nicole Richie on Broadway? I'm so glad I hate musicals. (PopSugar)

Courtney Cox hits the premiere of Dirt. (Just Jared)

Ashlee Simpson is not pregnant or engaged. (IDLYITW)

Jaimie Lynn Spears was an accident. How apropos. (A Socialite's Life)

Paris Hilton is giving away some of her dogs. She had 17. (Hollywood Rag)

Link: Weekend Links

Bijou Phillips Bikini Malfunction

10:59 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Bijou Phillips

Well, what do we have here? It's Bijou Phillips' bikini bottoms falling off! I'd prefer it if her bikini top was falling off, but frankly, I'll take what I can get. Anyway, if you want to see some Bijou Phillips ass crack (and who doesn't!?), click the pics below.

Link: Bijou Phillips Bikini Malfunction

Paris Hilton Topless and Bikini Pictures from 944 Magazine

10:45 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

Use enough Photoshop, and anyone can look decent. Even Paris Hilton, it would seem. Put a picture of Paris Hilton topless on the cover of your magazine, and you might actually sell a few copies. Though I wouldn't bet on it. Anyway, I've never heard of 944 magazine, and I wish I never heard of Paris Hilton, so it seems like they're a perfect match. At least it's Paris Hilton in a bikini (or is that her underwear?), and not acting like a drunk slut at some Vegas party. See? She can act.

Also, is Paris Hilton doing the pee-pee dance, or what?

Link: Paris Hilton Topless and Bikini Pictures from 944 Magazine

Jessica Alba was Sixth Grade Slut

10:07 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba's life is full of problems. Nothing ever goes right for her it seems. Not even growing breasts. That's right, even Jessica Alba's breasts were a problem for her. At least in the sixth grade. And because she had breasts in the sixth grade, everyone called her a slut. Including her principal and some other parents. Seriously, you can't make this shit up, at least not if you believe Page Six.

Jessica Alba knows the trauma of developing a big chest at an early age - she says she was labeled a sixth-grade slut by her elementary school principal and a couple of "self-righteous" PTA moms. "The accusation still ricochets... They think I'm a slut?"

Alba recalls in "If I'd Known Then," Ellyn Spragins' upcoming book of essays by female celebrities. Alba adds: "Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they're about 20 or 21... It's fun to have a crush, but don't think it's forever... And use birth control and condoms, please."

So, let me get this straight, a "sixth-grade slut" who is now pregnant by her allegedly cheating boyfriend is giving kids advice on safe sex? Um, okay. At least we know she's not a hypocrite.

And since we're talking about Jessica Alba's breasts, here are some nice shots of them from the red carpet at the academy awards.

Link: Jessica Alba was Sixth Grade Slut

Lindsay Lohan Nude in Playboy Too?

01:40 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Lindsay Lohan

It seems like all anyone (or at least I) can talk about these days is those Lindsay Lohan nude pictures from New York magazine, but there's more news today that we might see Lindsay Lohan nude again as Marilyn Monroe, but next time, it could be in Playboy magazine. According to Liz Smith, of the New York Post, Hugh Hefner wants Lindsay to get naked again and recreate Marilyn Monroe's famous nude swim from her unfinished final film, Something's Got To Give.

The pros and cons on Lindsay Lohan appearing as Marilyn Monroe for New York mag continue apace. The publication has all but imploded. Their Web site collapsed under constant hits!

Now we hear Lindsay is tempted to continue her nude homage to MM. Playboy's Hugh Hefner has offered the young star the chance to re-create Marilyn's famed nude swim from the unfinished film "Something's Got To Give."

But surely the talented Lohan said too much of a good thing is too much. Less nostalgically, she was spotted shopping at Neiman Marcus "after hours," so as not to be annoyed by gawkers. She bought Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana shoes, some cool Tom Ford shades and several clingy dresses in shades of lemon and tangerine. Her mama, Dina, was with her. "Sing out, Louise!"

So, will we be seeing Lindsay Lohan naked again so soon? Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure, after New York magazine didn't pay Lindsay any money, you can bet she'll be getting a big fat cheque from Hugh Hefner. And considering that her film career is in the crapper, she definitely needs it.

Here's Lindsay in the new issue of Paper magazine.

Link: Lindsay Lohan Nude in Playboy Too?

Will Pose for Food

01:05 PM, Filed under: Home \ Links

Tyra Banks is more annoying than ever. (DListed)

Sophie Monk's ex, Benji Madden, is now dating Paris Hilton. (Hollywood Tuna)

Marisa Miller is naked in bed. (CollegeHumor)

Rihanna is even sexy when she's bowling. (Popoholic)

Mischa Barton charged with DUI and post posession. (Pink is the New Blog)

Gwen Stefani does V magazine. (PopSugar)

The paparazzi still think Britney Spears is popular. (IDLYITW)

Mariah Carey does TRL. (Just Jared)

Elle MacPherson will kick you when you're down. (A Socialite's Life)

Katie Holmes gets Amy Winehouse hair. (CityRag)

Even in the hospital, Naomi Campbell is still a diva. (Hollywood Rag)

Link: Will Pose for Food

Kate Beckinsale's Vagina is the Best

12:27 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Kate Beckinsale

Guess what? Kate Beckinsale loves her vagina. She thinks it's really pretty. In fact, she thinks it's her best feature. Yeah, even better than her face, which is perfect. She's also got some great nicknames for her vagina, referring to it as her "Pharoah's Tomb" and, naturally, "my twat," reports Entertainmentwise.

Speaking to Allure magazine, the Underworld actress reveals: "I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"

Kate sinks to lower depths when asked about her best feature. She gushes: "My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?"

After a giggling fit, Kate then enlighten the interviewer, by silently mouthing the magical words: "My twat."

How very reserved and British of her. By the way, this all makes me love Kate Beckinsale that much more. For some reason I have the sudden urge to go digging for hidden treasure...

Don't forget to check out Kate Beckinsale's pictures from Allure magazine. And keep an eye out for possible future Kate Beckinsale upskirts.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Link: Kate Beckinsale's Vagina is the Best

Rihanna is So Hot She Will Melt Your Brains

10:51 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Rihanna

So, I'm pretty excited for the Kanye West tour to come to town. Not because of Kanye West, though. Sure, he puts on a good show, but he's also a douchebag. No, I'm much more excited to see Rihanna as the opening act, because if she wears that outfit, I can die a happy man.

Now, I've heard people say that Rihanna isn't actually that good live, and that sher singing isn't great, but who the hell cares when she's wearing a leather and vinyl halter top and the kinkiest boots you've ever seen!?

No, I'm excited, I just hope my brains don't melt. Not that I'm using it much.

More pictures after the jump.

JUMP to MORE of... Rihanna is So Hot She Will Melt Your Brains

Link: Rihanna is So Hot She Will Melt Your Brains

Lindsay Lohan Naked is Worth a Lot of Money

10:19 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Lindsay Lohan

So you know those Lindsay Lohan nude pictures from New York magazine that were so very popular last week? Of course you do! Well, turns out they were worth a lot of money for New York magazine, at least according to a report made by business magazine Forbes, which estimates that New York magazine could have made $500,000 in just two days from internet traffic to those photo pages. And the best part... Lindsay Lohan got nuthin'!

The photographer who snapped the photos of Lohan was Bert Stern, the same lensman who was behind the camera for Monroe's famed 1962 shoot at the Hotel Bel Air in Los Angeles. And while some magazines reportedly spend millions to get their hands on exclusive photos of celebrities or their babies, New York paid Stern its standard fee for such assignments--and paid Lohan nothing for her participation, according to magazine spokeswoman Lauren Starke.

For a site that's averaged around a million page views a day lately, the results were stunning. NYmag.com recorded a total of more than 40 million page views Monday and Tuesday, more than 34 million of which came from the Lohan portfolio, Starke said.

According to New York's online rate card, the "super banner ad" of the type that appears on the Lohan photo slideshow has a CPM (cost per 1,000 impressions) of $15. Multiply that by the number of views and the Lohan slideshow ads were valued at more than $500,000 over two days. NYmag.com probably charged far less than the rate-card rate, as is common in the industry. Starke said the magazine doesn't disclose revenue details about advertising deals.

Still, New York's Web site no doubt made out pretty well. Some perspective: Based on its rate card, New York generated about as much revenue per day from its online slideshow as it would from four $64,500 full-page color ads in its print edition.

While I don't completely agree with that figure of $500,000 for various reasons which I won't get into, New York magazine definitely made some fat cash of Lindsay Lohan's ass. And tits.

Anyway, here's Lindsay Lohan in short shorts in the middle of February, because I'm sure it's really warm in LA, and she's not just trying to get a lot of attention.

Photo credit: WENN / Splash

Link: Lindsay Lohan Naked is Worth a Lot of Money