Emily Ratajkowski Midriff at Jimmy Kimmel

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aldo-vallon - August 9, 2017

Great heavens, I have not seen a pair of track pants riding hips that looked that good since I took that trip to Eastern Europe back in college. I could not go to Paris, too expensive, but I did find a great little restaurant in Bulgaria that assured me what they were serving was chicken. Those pants do look slightly better on Emily than they did on the other guy I saw, but I must admit it was a close decision. I guess all those Slav squats those guys do over there really pay off. Normally, like any true American I only do leg day on Christmas and Easter, but I may have to rethink that considering their results.  

Has Emily fallen on hard times? Why can she only afford that old shirt that only covers half her torso? If she went to my old high school she would be facing a severe reprimand for that dress code violation. And I did not even go to a private Catholic school, they were just a bunch of puritanical tyrants looking to ruin the experience of horny teenagers. Someone tell my old principal I will take care of this one. I have dreamed of being able to hand out this fantasy--I mean punishment.

Photo Credit: Splash News