Emily Ratajkowski Coke Stomach

Our lawyers are advising us to emphasize that we are neither suggesting that Emily is using illicit substances to keep her tummy tight, nor are we saying she is using her flat stomach as a surface for others to use illicit substances on. The title was simply making note of the convenient brand placement near one of Emily’s many valuable assets. A product placement that she could be making a pretty penny off of, while I get NOTHING!

Thankfully Emily had the good sense to cop the bottom of that hideous shirt. Her stomach was actually able to salvage the look. Had the shirt still been complete I think she could have finally made the cover of She-mullet Magazine. It is a standup publication and they have some high standards for what they will include. As of yet I believe it is Emily’s white whale.

I am fighting saying anything good about Coca-Cola. Since I am not getting a kickback I do not want to give them anything for free. But I also do not want to insult them, thereby keeping them from employing me in the future. So all I will say is Coca-Cola is a beverage which is consumed by many.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA