aldo-vallon - November 8, 2017
It is moments like these that make me wish I still had a bicycle. I can think of no easier way to break the ice with Elsa Hosk than to ride up next to her popping a wheelie. And that would not be the only thing popping, if you know what I mean. (I'm talking about a boner, just in case you didn't get that.) Bike skills were always an easy way to impress the ladies when I was growing up, so I assume that has not changed. Something else that I trust has not changed is how little women respect a man's skills on a pair of Heelys. And that means I am truly shit out of luck. I can only imagine that level of respect gets even lower with age. But what can a man do? A bike is too bulky to take everywhere and I still have to get around in a hurry. Do women expect me to simply walk around, like a peasant? That is even more ridiculous than the concept of Heelys. I refuse to waste any more time on the thought.
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