Egotastic! Advice for Women: Never Stand Next to Kelly Brook With Photographers Around

Back in grade school, Mr. Pelopenesis, before he got caught up in what he explained as some innocent cross-border transporting of cigarettes, he taught us kids all about perspective. One time, he has me stand next to Knuckles Tatum, who'd you figure was a big kid based on the name, but he was a little shrimp nicknamed 'Knuckles' because he got caught once in the bathroom... well, never mind. Anyhow, I was taller than Knuckles. I felt good. As good as a mediocre academic student could ever feel in a classrom. Then Mr. Pelopenesis has Big John Bilkey stand next to me, and his nickname was actually just because he was big, and he was much taller than me, to which Mr. P then declared that I was now short. Perspective. Lesson learned.

I've never forgot that lesson, but, apparently, so many women do. It doesn't matter how hot you are, there is always somebody hotter. Accepting this reality is not so important as learning not to let yourself get photographed next to the super hot chick. Really, just don't. So when Kelly Brook stepped into the birthday party on Sunday night for DIY TV guy, Phil Turner's birthday, I could have told the likes of Tamara Ecclestone, not a bad looking billionaire heiress in her own right, or Lizzie Cundy, a veteran hottie we do admire, DO NOT get snapped next to uver-sextastic Kelly Brook, it's all about perspective. Enjoy.