chris-littlechild - June 11, 2013
E3 attendees can usually be found badge-ed right up. With a badge on. In this way, they can stride through the L.A Convention Center like the handsome, successful, important slices of importance on legs that they are. After all, who wants to look like an anonymous hobo who simply shuffled in because the Expo smells (marginally) less strongly of piss than the alley he's taken up residence in? No-one, that's who. That would not do.
As with any other damn aspect of life, said badges serve as an opportunity for companies to propel another ‘buy our shit. Then buy more of our shit' message into our weary eyeballs (if you'll pardon the worldly cynicism). To keep it gaming-centric, though, E3 2013‘s sponsor is Atlus. Those wacky guys have, rather wisely, chosen to adorn the badges with artwork from their norktacular action title Dragon's Crown.
As you may know, this side-scrolling brawler was last seen causing one hell of a shitstorm, by virtue of its impossibly-proportioned Sorceress character and her jiggling jubblies (see the apparently-entirely-necessary 'In Defense of Boobies'). Nonetheless, the upshot of this badge business is that, as destructoid reports, ‘fifty-thousand people will have magical controversial breasts on their own chests.'
We won't go so far as to conclude that the theme of this year's show is ‘chesticles, and damn big ones too,' but it's a fine idea for 2014. While we're looking for a suggestion box for that little doozy, we'll be checking out all the latest shenanigans from the show and firing them at your faces. Stay tuned to Egotastic!
Header image: ncloud.blogspot.co.uk.