E3 2013 Recap: Did Nintendo Thrill Us to the Gamer Gonads This Year?

Well, no. No they didn't. Nevertheless, as we've seen, these wacky funsters had a different objective to their rivals. With their own next-gen wonderbox already on store shelves (where it seems to be remaining for the most part, wallowing in its own crap/sad, sad tears of sadness, but it's there nonetheless), there was no three-way wang-waving ‘no, look atournew console, or we'll kick you in the eyeballs' shitstorm to be seen on the show floor.

Much as we'd all like to have seen a trio of furious CEOs wrestling in a pit, greased chests

a-heaving and tiny wrestler's underpants a-bulging, it was not to be. Nintendo decided to have no part in the festivities.

Indeed, their presence at E3 2013 consisted only of ‘Nintendo Direct' footage (regularly scheduled online updates, generally featuring boss-man Satoru Iwata dicking around in a Luigi cap or something). The question, then, is just what was shown? Will there be enough balls-out badass first party releases to keep Wii U trucking once PlayStation 4 and Xbox One arrive? Take a look at the gallery for our top 5 picks of the games Nintendo presented at the show.