Sam Robeson - November 1, 2017
With all the fame ho celebrities airing out their vages in hourly rate-ready slut wear this Halloween, who would have thought that the real headline-grabber would be Donald Trump Jr. His father's perfectly-shaped cat anus mouth is always ready for our attention, but we only hear about Jr. when he's opening a line of bougie hotels for savvy KKK travelers or ruining the coolness of espionage that we've come to expect from Jason Bourne. Trump Jr. dedicated this Halloween to his number one superhero, his dad, aww, by donning a Spandex dick-hugging American flag suit and a rubber mask with his father's likeness. Betsy Ross wishes.
Two of Trump Jr.'s sons dressed as members of the armed forces while his daughter went as a police officer and another kid made the bold choice to go as clubby gay Babadook. While I think the headlines can pretty much stop at Jr.'s suit, which hopefully will be donated to a homeless crackhead looking to make a buck in Times Square and dabble in chronic public masturbation on the side, people are focusing more on the fact that Jr. also took the occasion to speak out against socialism, using his daughter's Halloween candy as a demonstration:
I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism.
No, it's never to early. People are pointing out that trick or treating is the definition of taking handouts, but again, I say we really need to be focusing on this costume. If this is Trump Jr.'s level of dedication to freedom and America and bald eagles and Walmart checkout line rotisserie chicken, you kind of have to salute him. Here's Jr. hanging out with his children in the skin-tight American flag suit. It's never to early to give your kids an anatomy lesson.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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