bill-swift - September 12, 2013
Do you find yourself lacking anything resembling grace or dignity or the ability to add simple numbers to other simple numbers? Do your friends like to remind you that they only hang out with you because your sister is hot? Do you find your career counselor reminding you that roadside work crew is not a solid career plan? Then an Egotastic! internship might just be right for you.
Summer is dead and gone and it's time for Fall/Winter internships at Egotastic in our breathtaking Los Angeles offices or our breathtaking New York offices, proving clearly that I do not know the meaning of the word 'breathtaking'.
You must be a current college student and you can't be a total dick. Partial jerks are fine if you resemble a 1970's Suzanne Somers and you feel the strong need want to do whatever it takes to make your daddy regret not loving you. Also, you should at least be able to lie reasonably well about having work skills and never having been arrested for a felony.
If you've got the right wrong stuff, send your letter of interest to EgoInternships@gmail.com
Also, include a resume showing all the awesome fake jobs you had in the past and the children you saved with your charitable efforts and then lie about things you're really good at. Like not ending sentences in a preposition. Please be aware that there is a good chance you will see nekkid women during the course of your internship. My mom hates to wear clothes during the autumn. Enjoy.