Death By Atomic Wedgie

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A bully in Oklahoma has finally manged the impossible: killing someone with an atomic wedgie. It all started when Oakie redneck Brad Lee Davis got into a fight with his step dad, the Agatha Christie villain sounding Denver St. Clair. Apparently, St. Clair had said something about Davis' mama and you don't talk about his mama like that, haus. Davis then proceeded to pull St. Clair's underwear over his head and suffocate him with his own drawers. Davis then felt bad and called the cops to turn himself in. I was a pretty big nerd and I received quite a few wedgies in my day. The only danger I was ever in was of extreme chafing but never imminent death. Are people are going to start using bully tactics to kill people? Will they give Indian burns until an artery bursts or perhaps a wet willy in which the pinkie reaches the brain through the ear canal? I for one don't want to have to worry that I'm going to meet my end with a pair of Fruit of the Looms wrapped around my neck.