Danielle Bregoli Launches Her Rap Career (VIDEO)

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Lex Jurgen - August 31, 2017


There's a relativist conundrum when you're involved in an art form that is so incredibly shitty and shady that anybody can be amazing or lousy entirely based on subjectivity and payola. The commodity of rap music videos fall into that category. Like that guy friend who needs to show you his impressive dump. Is it though really? By what standards?

Internet famed child delinquent with fake tubes, Danielle Bregoli, released her first rap music video. She's fourteen or so her mom claims when loading her full body shots onto Backpage service ads. Is she a child prodigy or is she absolutely mortifyingly horrific? There's no standard by which to judge.

Bregoli's video makes great use of a single shitty apartment building somewhere in Florida and a drone camera to visually describe an auto-tuned rap ditty about being a "heaux" like no other. She's Jewish-Italian, but that's a stellar use of an invented French homonym. She seems to be mocking Kylie Jenner in the video for being a less successful ho than herself. Based on the common understanding of the word, Jenner may be the world's most successful ho. But can she rap with these kinds of chops?

Bregoli goes by the hip hop name, Bhad Bhabie. That doesn't seem more insanely moronic than her competitors, some of whom are twice her age and still very young themselves. She's working the story angle that mobs of angry concerned parents are out to get her. For what isn't clear. She is the local weed dealer. Maybe she sold them crap. It's hard to believe anybody thinks about this girl in between her arrests. No man is going to commit to remembering her name until she's eighteen. At which point professional pornography seems a more sure bet than Mayweather against a not boxer.

Our laws regarding the protection of the innocence of youth bear some rightsizing. All the middle schools have strict dress code, though you can simply drop out of seventh grade to pursue a rap or reality show career. No smoking, but opioids are cool if it turns you into Janis Joplin.

Entertainment industry exceptions. There are slots for kids that need to be filled. A busty pubescent girl fills a ton of them. Exploitation never happens in a vacuum. This case never makes Dateline.

Photo Credit: Backgrid

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