Lex Jurgen - March 24, 2017
Chrissy Teigen used to be a fun drunk. That's how she made her bones. Posting ripped on Twitter after midnight and posting stupid shit. The kids call it speaking truth to power. At some point Teigen hooked up with John Legend, started doing politics, and became a huge bore posing as a former hot model she never was.
Teigen's returned to likable form in an ad for Smirnoff where the company smartly used the outtakes of Teigen getting shit-faced with her Thai mom to show how Smirnoff is for regular folk. Teigen notes the everyman's nature of the liquor:
I could have gone for a fancy vodka, but I didn't.
Truth. Drunks aren't buying Grey Goose. Check the brown paper bags cuddled up under their winter coats. Smirnoff is run over the charcoal briquettes once or twice after the potato roast. Some men in Russia live as old as fifty-five on the stuff.
Teigen burping and cussing and shoving big food items in her face is the asset side of her balance sheet. Everything else detracts from a girl you might fuck in a puddle of her own urine. Kudos to Smirnoff for not posting hipsters with beards drinking their vodka over ice at an ironic music fest. Mix it with a reasonably strong tasting juice. See you on the other side.
Photo Credit: Fameflynet.com