Chrissy Metz Wants To Squeeze Herself Into Superhero Costume

Chrissy Metz is a comical woman, as she should be due to her size. Because when you’re fat you better be funny or no one will want to talk to you, take you seriously, or acknowledge you exist. Peter Griffen is pretty hilarious and a large part of that is thanks to his heft. When Jonah Hill lost all his excess weight he lost the funny and his career concurrently. But Chrissy is venturing into the joke telling territory as she’s announced she wants a superhero role. The same woman who currently lacks the ability to save herself from the embarrassment of stacking several plates atop one another at any given all you can eat buffet now wants to save the day in costume.

Chrissy Metz says she'd love to throw on a cape and save the day on camera -- now the harder question ... DC or Marvel?

If she shaves her head she can play Marvel’s The Blob and punch Hugh Jackman in the face. She had already almost ruined his suit when she showed up to an award show in a latex dress lathered in lube. Honestly if body positivity superheroes become a thing I might turn my next autoerotic asphyxia choke and stroke session into just a choke session. I don't want to live in a world where women the size of Metz are compressed into Spiderwoman costumes they clearly weren't cut out to fit into. The only saving Chrissy should stick to is 15 percent off her car insurance.

Photo Credit: Instagram / Pacific Coast News