aldo-vallon - July 1, 2018
If I had cleavage like Chantel Jeffries then I would never have to wait in line outside of a bar again. It is really a beautiful thought. So much time is wasted waiting for things. It is not like I can do anything productive waiting in line. Memes are entertaining and all, but they really don’t cut the mustard when all I want to do is drink.
I hate waiting in lines so much that it has become routine for me to go out to bars early before the lines form. This comes with its own troubles, though. I wind up there so early that I end up spending a fortune on drinks while I am waiting for the cool crowd to show up. I am a man of honest means. I can’t afford the lifestyle of Don Draper, drinking to my heart’s content, not worrying about the tab.
Every time I sign my bill during a night out I die a little bit more inside. At this point it is bordering on becoming self-flagellation. I doubt it will get me to change my ways. It is more likely to take the last of my humanity, leaving me half a man. Kind of like Tom Cruise.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.