Channing Tatum Questionable Parenting

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jhanson - April 24, 2017

Channing Tatum revealed that he takes his three year old daughter to his live stripping show which is based on the Magic Mike franchise. Remarkably he still has custody of his daughter. Aside from the creepy prickly shaved buns and overt homoeroticism being completely inappropriate for a three year old, you've got to factor in the number of sexual predators this show attracts. This isn't the movies and these aren't forty year old horny housewives, these are guys with a meth addiction and a safe full of incriminating photographs: 

"She has already been to the show. She is running around here like crazy. We keep it very casual and positive around here."

Sounds like you're keeping it stalked with potential victims. How in the fuck do you find this appropriate? We shouldn't be demonizing sexuality. You also shouldn't have your daughter or son for that matter at eye level with a greasy banana hammock. Apart from fucking the kid up sexually so that she's going to end up digging kitten crushing videos, you're also exposing her to a cultural abomination. A bastardized Disney on Ice strip show featuring sweaty balls. If you want to teach the kid how the world works, bring them to an actual strip club. Tatted up tweaker chicks who will blow you for a carton of cigarettes. You can't learn that in private school: 

"We have a safe word and you will find it out in the show that everyone can use and the guys actually listen. You will need a safe word, just so you know." 

The fact that your show necessitates a safe word should tell you everything you need to know. If patrons are touching gay adult men against their will, they're not going to hesitate with a toddler. This is not hyped creepy, this is real world creepy. Twenty years from now when you're financing her third stint in rehab you'll look back on this moment and decide you should have done way less Adderall. Someone call the cops, and if Channing Tatum yells his safe word while you're pummeling his face, ignore him and his three year old who's drinking a Corona while staring at her dad's balls.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

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