Whitney Port

Whitney Port Bikini Pictures Double Down For Two Sets of Hot Bodied Photos

As you may know, Whitney Port is most definitely on our list of most boring celebrities in Hollywood. And you also must know, we don't really care how boring they are when they come bearing boobtastic and booty-revealing bikinis. It's called the looks-trump-personality override instilled deep in the hardware of all man-kind millennia ago.

So when former reality star and curent fashion plate for tween girls with their parents credit cards everywhere, Whitney Port, flashed her body in Miami this weekend with her girlfriends in not one, but two different bikinis, well who cares about boring? Silent leering works perfectly fine when checking out those well-placed pounds of flesh in and on Whitney Port, in and out of the pool, and in and out of our imaginations of playing 'the quiet game' back in her hotel room. Enjoy.

Whitney Port Bikini Malfunction Reveals South Beach Nips

 

We haven't seen reality star and self-proclaimed fashionista Whitney Port around these parts in some time; then again, the guru to millions of 'tween girls with their parents credit cards hasn't given us much reason to highlight her merchandising body, which seems to seated in a pedicure chair about four days a week, putting Whitney in the category of Nicky Hilton, as in, super boring celebrity persona.

But not today. No, not today. Because today Whitney Port and her bikini quite nicely malfunctioned during a period of adjustment down in Miami creating a quite delicious bare nipple slip, on top of some already ogle-worthy poolside bikini pictures. And, let's be honest, as inherently uninteresting as Whitney Port may be, there's something quite interesting about that lean stacked body of hers. Something worth examining with some scientific rigor, as it were. Enjoy.

Weekend Links

Julianne Hough looking particularly cleavy. (Popoholic)

Julianne Moore fulfills our hot teacher fantasies. (HuffPo)

Bikini Battle: Audrina Patridge vs. Whitney Port. (FoxNews)

Reese Witherspoon gets hit by a car. (TMZ)

Damn you, auto-correct! (CollegeHumor)

Ali Lohan isn't fooling anybody. (theFABlife)

Hottest ginger celebrities. (Ranker)

A Hills Reunion? Kristin Cavallari and Whitney Port Could Give the Project Legs

Word is out that Whitney Port was asked about whether she'd be interested in some other contrivance of yet another Hills reunion and she was very open to the idea, at least after leafing through her appointment book and seeing nothing written down for the next three years. Kristin Cavallari has always said no to the idea of another Hills project, but, since her fiance dumped her at the altar last month, well, perhaps there will be a change of commercial hearts. In either case, both craptastic reality show alums took to the streets of the Hills of Beverly strutting their well-maintained bodies in between shopping and grooming sessions; the legs, the bodies, the valleys I'd love to explore. Perhaps not a reunion, but how about a group shower? Enjoy.

Florida Win

Much more Whitney Port bikini pictures. (Celebuzz)

Emma Watson is an official beauty. (HuffPo)

Rachel Uchitel returns her Tiger Woods hush money. (FoxNews)

Ashley Tisdale tightens and tones her killer body. (GossipCenter)

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber crash a Malibue wedding. (TMZ)

Catherine Zeta-Jones reveals some well-aged cleavage. (Popoholic)

Kate Upton + Slow Motion = My Only Plans for the Night. (Break)

Whitney Port Bikini Pictures Remind Us of Something We Do Lust About Whitney

it's the bikini body. Just to giveaway the obvious answer.

Oh, we may have little understanding of why Whitney Port is so popular amongst the female lip-glossian set, or why she is considered a style icon or a fashion maven, or why girls from tween age to nursing homes sit nervously on the edge of their seats, or Hoverounds, waiting for Whitney to issue a papal edict on trendy summer purses, but we do get hot toned celebrity bodies. We admire them. We worship them. If hot celebrity bodies were available to purchase at Nordstroms like the purses are, we'd round up our buddies and giggle our way over to the store with our parents credit cards to buy one ASAP. But, alas, the destiny of the gentleman ogler is but to window shop. And leer at Whitney Port in a bikini on the beaches of Miami, taken in the midday sun as she no doubt contemplates yet another genius skort-ensemble. Enjoy.

Whitney Port Upskirt and Vanessa Hudgens See-Through Pants Leads Coachella Sexy Celebrity Roundup

As much I pretend to lament the corporatization of the Coachella Music Festival, and bitch about how star-fuckery has well surpassed music appreciation out in the desert, well, the upshot is a California migration of sexy celebrities that is well worth celebrating each Spring. While Cee Lo Green was up on stage cursing and bitching about sand being stuck in his crack, a nice gaggle of hotties roamed the pachouli oil stinking lawns including Whitney Port, who delightfully flashed her pretty girl panties in a dramatic upskirt post, Vanessa Hudgens who wore some kind of macrame pants that showed her bare to the underthings, Lindsay Lohan who had all the tchotckhe vendors hiding their beaded jewelry from the felonious star, Kate Bosworth back from topless beach vacation, Billionaire Barbie and her less attractive sister, Nicky Hilton, Alessandra Ambrosio, who has probably never not looked hot her whole existence, Katy Cocktease who hid her cleavage from the sun, Tallulah Willis, a newly single Ashley Greene, and Tara Reid who surprisingly did not have a wardrobe malfunction. Throw in some Black Keys and you've got a pretty decent party. Enjoy.