While many of us have been disappointed with just how G-rated uber-hottie teen Nick star Victoria Justice continues to appear even well after her barely legal birthday we waited so long for, well, I like to take the glass-is-half-full take on the entire state of innocence. Perhaps Victoria is just covering up some kind of super freaky deaky private life of cosplay, chains, disturbing things with Nilla wafers, that will ultimately surface and make us all say, ‘Damn, that girl’s crazy’ but in the way a guy says that when he wonders what it might be like to be in the middle of that crazy.
In sophisticated red at the Teen Nick HALO event, Victoria Justice once again showed all the hope and hotness we’ve built up in her leggy little frame. Would we like to peel that dress of her body with our bare teeth while Motley Crue plays epically in the background? Oh, sure, yes, definite yes. But, for now, we’re biding our time while we await the naughty librarian to slip up. Enjoy.
Chalk it up, fellow Victoria Justice lusters. This may be the least amount of clothing Victoria has worn out in public since the day she came into this world.
Our passion inducing G-rated princess who never seems to be without four to eleven layers of protective wardrobe to keep her body from sin hit the red carpet last night for the premiere of her Halloween kid comedy, Fun Size, and while it’s highly unlikely you’ll go to the depths of depravity we do here at Egotastic! by sitting in the back row of this film this weekend, you can at least revel in the little yellow number Victoria wore to the premiere, flashing little bits of skin front and back and some of her Nickelodeon not-so-naughty legs. Ah, visions of Victoria without clothes quickly danced through our heads. But when is that not what’s dancing in our heads? Enjoy.
As you know, we have a problem with Victoria Justice. A very big problem.
We can’t help but lusting in our hearts and other organs for the Nickelodeon teen star, but she simply refuses to ever get grown up and naughty, even after passing her barely legal status well over a year ago. No, nada nada. Nothing. Nunca. We get zilch in the way of racy photos or appearances or grown up showy looks or any type of mature womanly allures. And she could do so so much with what she has. OMFG.
So, our Victoria policy is take what you can get, and when the brunette super babe shows up in tight jeans, yes, we are taking, Taking in with visual receptors, all the goodness that this slender hottie has to offer. But, still, in the back of our minds, wanting so much more. Enjoy.
Technically, I think Victoria Justice is the only teen among the trio, and even at that she hits the big 2-0 come February, but still hard to deny the youthful exuberance and sextastic on display last night at Teen Vogue’s Young Hollywood party. We have to give it up to Teen Vogue, personally, we’ve been trying for years to come up with a ruse to get tons of nubile Hottieville residents to get decked out and show up to our place for some fake awards and such.
Nevertheless, show they did, and in addition to Victoria Justice, who has broken our hearts a bit by refusing to ever show anything flesh-wise worthy of an independently wealthy 19-year old in Hollywood, we got to feast our peepers upon Aussie hottie Phoebe Tonkin and ever preciously perky Sarah Hyland from Modern Family, American Idol contestant Pia Toscano, and hottie pop music girl, Jo-Jo Levesque. Now, that’s a party. A teen party. A hot teen party with pillows and spankings and… okay, got a bit carried away there. Enjoy.
Victoria Justice, Kari Byron, Ariana Grande, and Padma Lakshmi Headline Hotness at Creative Arts Emmy Awards
Talk about some of the biggest names in nerd boy lust-dom — Kari Byron flashing leg and body and all decked out, doubly so for Ariana Grande, cooking mega-sextastic Padma Lakshmi, iCarly diva-ette Miranda Cosgrove, Malin Akerman, Victoria Justice, Jenner Morrison. Damn, the Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, whatever the heck they are, brought out some serious PG-rated girls flashing decked out exhibitions on the red carpet over the weekend.
It was like a parade designed specifically to send fanboys rushing to their basements to takes a first crack at their No-Drip technology gallons o’ lotion dispensers. I guess that’s the creative arts part of the equation. Enjoy.
There’s a reason we don’t let teens, most especially young teen girls, make important decisions. For one, Justin Bieber would be our nation’s first lesbian President, and while hair-twistees would replace war, a whole bunch of other bad shizz would befall us as all important institutions were slowly turned into Forever 21 stores.
That being said, the Teen Choice Awards while being completely inane and craptastic in concept and delivery, did manage to deliver a bevy of super sextastic celebrities to the red carpet and insipid in-show skits, that with the volume turned all the way off, became tolerable thanks to the hotness of Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Nina Dobrev, Taylor Swift, Hayden Panettiere, Zooey Deschanel, Bella Thorne, Lea Michele, and Victoria Justice. Pack all those ladies into a suitcase and head out for a weekend of non-stop self-stimulation, if you know what I’m saying. And, you do. Enjoy.