Now, you know I’ve been saving up for my own sea-faring vessel. An eighteen foot sloop with only moderate to major hull damages that I’m a mere thirty-seven years away from affording the first payment. Soon. But not soon enough to host the bachelorette at sea party Vanessa Hudgens and a couple other bikini clad friends threw for gal friend Ashley Tisdale over the weekend in Miami.
I can’t remember who Ashley is marrying, but somebody who’s not me which means looking it up will only make me jealous. It might ruin my otherwise pleasant mood from watching Vanessa and Ashley and friends bounce around with their hot bodies and booties in bikini along the deck of their yacht having a grand old send off of their buddy into matrimony. I must say, it doesn’t look as nearly as wild as the bachelor parties I attend, though the girls are much prettier at Ashley and Vanessa’s event. Girls, couldn’t you use a little man to tie down and do dirty things with at your little three sheets to the wind party? I do volunteer. Enjoy.
Actress and bonafide hot person Vanessa Hudgens showed off her perfect midriff after a workout in LA. The former High School Musical star tried to cover her face with her phone and purse when she spotted the photographers, but she seemed alright with displaying her lovely abs. Vanessa has a seriously well-toned stomach, which is probably what she was working on in the gym. Looking like that doesn’t just happen, you know. She also dazzled pedestrians with her pierced belly button. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a belly button piercing is one of the sexiest of accessories. It’s the one body piercing that I advocate every hot girl get immediately if not sooner. I like a girl that jingles when she walks. Is that weird?
I admire anyone who can stay in shape like that. It takes more will power than I have. It’s just that doughnuts and pizza are too delicious.
Vanessa Hudgens was spotted leaving her yoga class in a rather interesting getup. She was sporting a pair of tiny pink shorts that went up almost to her first chakra. The shorts matched her pink yoga mat, which makes me wonder if she either always wears those same shorts to class or has lots of different yoga mats to match her various outfits. She also wore a tall pair of black boots that went almost up to her knees. Now, I’m far from a yoga expert. I’m about as flexible as a rusty tetanus covered piece of rebar but I can’t imagine that boots are good for yoga. How are you going to do downward facing dog or the rusty trombone or whatever wearing boots?
You could go barefoot, I guess. But then you’ll have to walk around on the dirty floor of some hippie’s yoga studio. Maybe the boots are a good idea, Vanessa.
I’m not sure if Vanessa Hudgens ever tried on these jean shorts before wearing them out in public, but the belusted little minx of ours seemed to have all kinds of trouble keeping them properly situated on her body, and avoid showing off her Calvins beneath.
We’ve been watching Vanessa carefully for a while now, especially in her grown up Pilates and yoga hard working out form. It’s possible she’s just become too in shape for her old clothes. Either that or somebody’s been sneaking in her clothing drawers at night in her bedroom and messing with all her stuff. Though I don’t know who that could possibly be or why he would leave her a note in her underwear drawer marked, ‘I love you so much I just had to explore, yours, Bill.’. It’s a real mystery. Enjoy.
I know people make fun of me for my vast women’s magazine subscriptions. Go on, chuckle, just like the middle school skate gang that terrorizes me outside my own stoop when I go to retrieve my lady journals. But who has the last laugh when the very first Miley Cyrus topless pictures show up in W Magazine, along with Lara Stone topless, Miranda Kerr barely covered nekkid in the bed, and Cindy Crawford, well, damn. Oh, why not throw in Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley in a see-through bra, Vanessa Hudgens different looking hotness, Milla Jovovich stunning, Rita Ora biting on a bed sheet, and Ciara looking boudoir sextastic.
It’s only one of the finest magazine photo spreads ever. Certainly monumental, epic, and initiating the clarion call for a little private time viewing. Yep, who’s laughing now Mr. Postman, old neighbor lady, skate kids, and mom? You’ve had your fun belittling me through the years. I’ll take my topless wicked hot celebrity photos and my perfume samplers, thank you very much. Enjoy.
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There she is. Our little workout petite hottie flashing her bare midriff and some cleavage on a hike in the Hollywood Hills. Vanessa Hudgens can try to hide beneath her silly oversized caps, but we know her body well enough to spot her from above, or down her top at least, or from behind, or any number of other views of her body we’ve memorized by this point in our leering ventures.
Vanessa doesn’t take her body for granted. And neither do we. Her body I mean, my own, well, that’s taken beyond granted. But Vanessa keeps in tip top shape so that when she gets dolled up for real, she has one of the finest, tightest little bodies in Celebrityville. Bikinis, tight dresses, low cut tops, short skirts, she has it all working. The time is nigh for a blessedly fully nekkid photoshoot with this worked-out diva. Trust me, Vanessa, you’ll be so happy to see all your hard work in forever photos. We’ll be so happy too. Enjoy.