Shauna Sand

Hogwarts Hottie

Emma Watson shares a peek at her awesome legs. (GossipCenter)

Emma Stone and Christina Hendricks: ginger on ginger love. (HuffPo)

Megan Fox looks sexy on the set of her new film. (Celebuzz)

Fergie shows her love for the USA. (Popoholic)

Bikini mud wrestling is my new favorite sport. (TheChive)

Shauna Sands flashes her beach body. (DrunkenStepfather)

Julianne Hough bikini goodness. (GossipCenter)

Karissa Shannon and Shauna Sand Battle It Out in Epic Skanky Food Fest

I find myself more and more intrigued by these two blonde bumshells Playmates and the depths to which they dive to find that hidden treasure called publicity.

Karissa Shannon has herself a theme. That theme seems to be sex. Constant sex. Mostly with Pete from Smallville, but also the occasional pumpkin or ice cream cone spill. Oops, did I spill white cream on my chest again. SJ3! Help! (Have you seen the Karissa Shannon sex tape yet? Long form trailer coming soon.)

Shauna Sand has a unique motif: be as sexually provocative and crude as possible in front of her young daughter. It’s a hook. Seen here dribbling ketchup onto her tongue in what can only be described as an egregious violation of County Health Code violations, Shauna Sand imparts upon her daughter generational wisdom something well-short of the modern feminist agenda.

Am I but a pawn in the gross fame-hogging of these big-boobed Playboy veterans? Oh, hell yeah I am. I just can’t stop. Not quite yet. Enjoy.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Shauna Sand Puts on Frightening Demonstration at Pumpkin Patch

You know I refrain from anything to do with the walking cheese spread known as Shauna Sand. Oh, sure, occasionally I’ll drop an anonymous call into Child Protective Services to see if they’ll extricate her daughter before the window of meaningful re-programming closes, but, outside of that, I limit my involvement to that once or twice a year when Shauna Sand does something so profoundly inglorious, it deserves mention.

Imagine the surprise of parents and kids alike, shopping for pumpkins for their annual Halloween tidings, whence the innocents come upon the pumpkin whore, Shauna Sand, in a miniskirt and heels, slowly seducing the business end of a relished weenie into her lingual orifice. There’s no ghost or goblin story so horrifying as to prepare a child’s mind eye for this level of skankadelic assault. Forget a normal night light, these kids are going to demand a blue light and bleach next to their beds. Enter Sand-cans.

Update: Oh, could it get worse? It has. Mommy, why is that two-bit hooker flashing her panties at the pumpkin patch?

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com/ Fame

Shauna Sand Nipple Slip in Front of Her Kid

 

I don’t know where to begin describing what’s wrong with these Shauna Sand nipple slip pictures. I guess the first thing is that every Shauna Sand nipple slip is absolutely disgusting, since her nipples are so clearly sewn on. And badly sewn on, too. How that guy could make a sex tape with her is behind me, as my dad would say. Then there’s the fact that her daughter is in the car right next to her, having to experience the whole thing at point blank range. That can’t be healthy. There’s no way that kid is turning out okay. And its a real shame, but in all likelyhood, that stunning little girl will one day end up a mutilated, stripper-heel wearing fame whore, just like her mom. Won’t that be nice.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Shauna Sand Sex Tape is a Clear Publicity Stunt

 

Today, TMZ is reporting that Vivid (the porn guys – as if you didn’t know) are releasing a Shauna Sand sex tape, but that Shauna is sicking her lawyers on the company claiming that Vivid doesn’t have her permission to release the tape, which she admits is actually just one of many sex tapes she has made with her current boyfriend.

“Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I’ve made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn’t sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now.”

Vivid had this response:

“We were approached by a third party, who brought us footage of Shauna having sex with her current boyfriend and we were immediately interested in acquiring it … We’re comfortable with our legal position in releasing this footage.”

Okay, so first of all, she called TMZ before she called her lawyer. Um, really? Second, and this is the kicker, the footage from this sex tape has better production value than most real pornos. In fact, there are stills from the video which could only have been taken by a third person, involving multiple camera set-ups. Most likely the person who’s selling the tape to Vivid. Add to that the professionally shot photos taken in the same location, and I smell a publicity stunt. Now, call me crazy, but when you ask someone else to professionally film and photograph you having sex with your boyfriend, I’m pretty sure that’s straight up porn, and to put it bluntly, you’re fucked.

Shauna Sand in a Bikini on a Segway

How can you tell someone’s an attention whore? Well, after seeing Shauna Sand in a bikini, riding a Segway, wearing stripper heels, it’s pretty easy. Talk about your desperate attempt at getting noticed. Of course, this is a somewhat impressive sight. After all, it’s very difficult to get those Barbie dolls to stand up straight without falling over.

Photo credit: Splash News

Shauna Sand Bikini Pictures Can’t Fool Me

I really don’t know why I’m posting these Shauna Sand bikini pictures. If the term “past her prime” ever applied to anyone, it applies to Shauna Sand. Of course, at first glance, you’d think she doesn’t look that bad, but that’s only because every inch of her has been nipped, and tucked, and stretched, and stitched. And if you need proof, just take a look at Shauna Sand’s nipples (though I’d warn you not to).

But at least Shauna Sand knows how to keep things classy. Those 5-inch lucite heels and stringy bleach blonde hair just scream taste. Though I do believe that taste is of beer-soaked ash trays.

And on that note, check out more Shauna Sand bikini pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: Mavrix
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