You know I’m a man who loves himself some lesbionics. It is after all ironically the greatest gift to men ever. Or this man. So I’m inclined to believe the rampant speculation and unfounded journalism of our friends at WWTDD who are basically calling Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne joint kayakers to the Isle of Lesbos, if you catch my obvious drift.
I don’t know if all of that is true. Clearly the last girl Cara went yachting with was Michelle Rodriguez, and, well, okay it was true in that instance. I do know Selena was looking all kinds of nipply minxy moist and booty-inspiring in her one-piece white swimsuit, in contrast to Cara who went with the model bikini, as both leapt off the side of their yacht into the Mediterranean waters. It sure looks fun. All of it. Every little lesbionic loving part. I’m either jealous or aroused or both. I’m so confused, in a good day. Enjoy.
What have we here. Our little Latina minx traveling around the Riviera this July in various ports of call and various revealing outfits.
Selena Gomez has made her way up from the Italian coast to the South of France and St. Tropez for a little bikini top fun time aboard one of the many yachts parked in the harbor. This reminds me both that I have mad passion for the petite Selena kitty as well as it’s time to turn my coin collection in for another payment down on my own sea-faring vessel. The S.S. Egotastic!, a 22-foot ship of sea which by my abacus reckonings should be launching from her slip around 2037 if my payments continue at present rate. That’ll be the day you see the likes of Selena Gomez, or you know, maybe her 19-year old daughter by then, smiling on the forecastle of my mini-clipper. I don’t just dare to dream, it’s all I do. Enjoy.
The lovely Selena Gomez was looking hot as F in a black dress at a gala dinner for the Ischia Global Festival in Italy. One of the things about Selena that I really respect is the fact that she rarely wears a bra. Such was the case on the night of the gala. The low cut dress showed off that famous Gomez cleavage and just a hint of sideboob as well. Selena’s girls have been looking…er…larger recently. Maybe it’s just from vitamins and exercise? Either way, her funbags look amazing. The dress also has a slit in the front that goes almost all the way up to her hoo-ha giving us a nice eyeful of her legs. Selena has a pretty phenomenal set of stems. They are perfectly toned and fit. Luckily, she likes to show those off as well.
What I’m saying is that Selena knows how much we appreciate looking at her in various states of undress and she’s willing to oblige us. She’s a real mensch, only, you know, a chick.
For a tiny island, Ischia off the coast of Italy has been packed this week with the world’s hottest celebrities for some made up film and arts festival. Somehow, they never host them in Cleveland (maybe that changes now that LeBron’s back).
Included today in the parade d’ hotties was Selena Gomez, looking all grow’d up and flashing serious legs at one of the festivals red carpet events. For a relatively petite little minx, Selena manages to flash seemingly long stems made of pure lust inducement. Her calves alone could cause me to swim out to the island, seeing as how my yacht is still in the shop. Te amo, Selena. You and your new big jugs have really made my summer. Enjoy.
Since Selena Gomez and her big boobtastic walk through Manhattan last week, there have been rumor, speculation, and innuendo that she perhaps artificially enhanced her relatively modest chestal goodies to be more substantial Hollywood sized sweetie pies. I’m not so sure I’m buying into the 90210 alterations just yet, though it does seem clear Selena has found a new level of support in exhibiting her cleavage in a low cut and pronounced way of late. I’m going to go ahead and just ascribe this to minxy cat on the prowl. Because I kind of like what that implies.
Selena went through the Miami airport over the weekend in yet another showing off her smooshed up swell funbags, capturing all eyes and photographers lenses and everybody else who might possibly be attracted to this young superstar and her newly polished racktastic. Personally, I couldn’t be happier for Selena and her summer melons. I’ve been rooting for this particular change in wardrobe for some time now. Such an alluring little minx. If she could just finally and forever drop that 120 lb. anchor, she’d be perfect. Enjoy.
Heidi Ho. That was the nickname of the girl I so desperately wanted to date in high school. I got Saxophone Susan instead. Sort of the same, though Susan only blew her own instrument. The point is, you don’t always get what you want in life. Until each Thursday when you come here and get a heaping hearty dose of the hottest pictures celebrities are pimping of themselves on social media. You want that. You need that. And today you shall have it for the relatively bargain price of zero dollars and zero cents. I know, I should be President.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup is headed up, chested up, and all around made awesome by Selena Gomez nipple slip in an Instagram pic she can no longer erase, McKayla Maroney bikini top hotness, Bella Thorne making her own bid for summer bikini trophies, the amazing keester of Anastasia Ashley, Emmy Awesome in a bikini, Miley Cyrus covered topless, Sophie Monk down her blouse, and so much more. Don’t be annoying like LeBron and simply choose right here, right now, to check out each and every one of these wicked hot social media candids. You love them, or your money back. I done guarantee. Enjoy.
I’ve never quite been in lust with minxy little Selena Gomez more than today perhaps. Not only has she broken up with The Devil’s Midget for the seventeenth time, and who knows, this one could stick, but she proudly asserted her independence by pushing up her funbags to a fare-thee-well and going braless in New York, showing off her racktastic and nipples like she was a young woman on a mission. And really the most noble mission of all, sweet exhibition.
Selena’s social media once again indicates she’s going through a rough patch. It always amazes me that accomplished, successful, beautiful young women would ever have such down times. Emotions and romance are a bitch for sure. Selena, if you ever need someone to talk to, well, your mom seems super nice. I have to admit I’m a horrible listener. But I do think you are wicked hot and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I hope that helps in some way. Enjoy.