Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson Is 29, Let’s Look at 30 Pictures of Her Amazing Cleave

Well, Happy Birthday to Scarlett Johansson and her amazing boobtastic, 29 years young today. So much happy time pleasure has been derived from Scarlett and her chesty goodness over the past decade, how could we possibly skip over her birthday? We can not.

So, while Scarlett is probably at Chuck E. Cheese ow maybe Baskin Robbins being the center of birthday girl attention, why not imagine just how incredibly hot she'd look blowing out candles on your cake, perusing some of our favorite cleavetastic pictures of Scarlett through the years. Happy Birthday, Scarjo.

Scarlett Johansson Is Your Sexiest Woman Alive (According to Esquire)

You know how much I disfavor these superlatives. I can't disagree that Scarlett Johansson is crazy ridiculous hot and I'd give up all seventy-two-dollars of my life's fortune just to caress her ankles for two minutes. At the same time, this whole wide sextastic world is filled with so many hot women belusted by so many men in so many different list of favorites, who's to say who is the sexiest woman alive.

Well, Esquire magazine did and they picked Scarlett. Then they added some photos to prove their point. But what say you about their selection?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Nicole Neal vs. Mellisa Clarke

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Scarlett Johansson Sultry Outdoor Goodness for Interview

The best thing about a Scarlett Johansson movie coming out is rarely the movie itself. It's all the promotional photoshoots Scarlett does in advance of the film. With Don Jon now in theaters, Scarlett has been out posing again, most notably for this sultry shimmering spread in Interview magazine.

It's a bit diffused and a little bit shopped, but there's no denying the blessedly hot innate looks of this big-boobed thespianic wonderment. Of course, we could always benefit from more closeups. Were I the photographer you'd see a shooting schedule that included the line, '2pm-5pm: left funbag', but I suppose not everybody shares my artistic vision. Unfortunate really. Still, Scarlett. So, wow. Enjoy.

Scarlett Johansson Sextastic Don Jon Promotional Stills

If you just so happen to dig the heck out of boobtastic beauty Scarlett Johansson, you will quite delight in these fancifully faptastic photos of the chesty thespianic shot for her upcoming film, Don Jon.

Even though Scarlett has recently engaged herself to some exceedingly good looking wealthy European dude, that can not stop the pangs of tingles we feel in our lower hearts for the curvaceous hottie that we so badly want to soap up in the shower, front first, natch. Enjoy.

Scarlett Johansson Boobtastic Performance Earns Her Yet Another Red Carpet Stealer Award

Oh, sure, you could say it's an easy task for Scarlett Johansson to be the belle of every ball simply by wearing something simple and low cut and showing off her outrageous bosom. And, you'd be right. But, so right. It's simple for a seven-foot center to dunk. I still applaud like a mechanical monkey every time one of those giants on my team dunks. As I applaud fervently every time Scarlett graces us with her bodacious funbags, a more precious and fuller bodied A-list pair I do not know.

At Toronto Film Festival screening of Don Jon, Scarlett created another memorable round of visual magic. For that, I give her the red carpet stealer of the day award. It's not so much a trophy really as a soft caress along the front of Scarlett's fine form while guttural moans emanate from my mouth. So, way better than just a stupid trophy. Enjoy.

Scarlett Johansson Boobs Steal the Show in Venice

Talk about good things coming in pairs. Scarlett Johansson delivered a knockout blow with her pushed up boobtastic on the red carpet premiere of Under the Skin at the 70th annual Venice film festival. Scarlett's always had the strong fundamentals to be a red carpet camera stealer, and when she decided to go full attention mode, she's pretty much unstoppable.

Someday, Scarlett and I shall spend a weekend scientifically exploring the bounce-factor of her spectacular mammaries, dropping objects of various mass onto her full bosom and measuring the heights upon the spring back. We will test a wide array of objects, including one very near and dear to my heart. Well, below my heart. Enjoy.

This ‘Don Jon’ Teaser Trailer Was the Only Thing Good About the VMAs Last Night

Scarlett Johansson Puts the 'Tease' in Teaser Trailer

Apparently lots of fabulous things happened on the MTV Video Music Awards last night, from Justin Timberlake reuniting with 'N Sync, to Miley Cyrus getting up on stage and being terrible, to Taylor Swift leaning over and saying something to someone. Of course, if you're a dude like me, chances are none of that nonsense made you type 'OMG' into your phone because you don't really care, and because you weren't watching it to begin with.

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