Alef, Bet, Gimel, Hotties today in honor of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah, which happens to coincide with Thanksgiving for the first time in anybody’s lifetime. While we routinely call out the Hebrew School Hotties that grace our pages, for today let’s think of them as the potato latkes of the sextastic. Toned and firm on the outside, soft and warm and squishy on the inside. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s described in the Jewish cookbooks.
Join me now for a look at ten crazy hot girls who will spend this week lighting the menorah candles and remembering days long ago.
Scarlett Johansson is going out strong in 2013. Already riding her Sexiest Woman Alive title from Esquire, Scarlett is also making her mark in Vogue Mexico this final month of the year, looking all kinds of crazy hot, even if adorned in far too much wardrobe. I’m not exactly sure who decides to pay Scarlett big bucks for a photoshoot then shows up with a whole bunch of covering clothing and accessory items. I suppose it’s those people we call ‘women’.
No man could ever conceive of covering up Scarlett to make her look better. If the magazine were Vogue by Bill, I can assure you it would feature Scarlett nekkid in the reverse crab position trying to maneuver an obstacle course of fluffy pillows and water cannons. Maybe a honey drizzle machine as well. But, no such magazine exists. Not yet. Enjoy.
Well, Happy Birthday to Scarlett Johansson and her amazing boobtastic, 29 years young today. So much happy time pleasure has been derived from Scarlett and her chesty goodness over the past decade, how could we possibly skip over her birthday? We can not.
So, while Scarlett is probably at Chuck E. Cheese ow maybe Baskin Robbins being the center of birthday girl attention, why not imagine just how incredibly hot she’d look blowing out candles on your cake, perusing some of our favorite cleavetastic pictures of Scarlett through the years. Happy Birthday, Scarjo.
You know how much I disfavor these superlatives. I can’t disagree that Scarlett Johansson is crazy ridiculous hot and I’d give up all seventy-two-dollars of my life’s fortune just to caress her ankles for two minutes. At the same time, this whole wide sextastic world is filled with so many hot women belusted by so many men in so many different list of favorites, who’s to say who is the sexiest woman alive.
Well, Esquire magazine did and they picked Scarlett. Then they added some photos to prove their point. But what say you about their selection?
The best thing about a Scarlett Johansson movie coming out is rarely the movie itself. It’s all the promotional photoshoots Scarlett does in advance of the film. With Don Jon now in theaters, Scarlett has been out posing again, most notably for this sultry shimmering spread in Interview magazine.
It’s a bit diffused and a little bit shopped, but there’s no denying the blessedly hot innate looks of this big-boobed thespianic wonderment. Of course, we could always benefit from more closeups. Were I the photographer you’d see a shooting schedule that included the line, ’2pm-5pm: left funbag’, but I suppose not everybody shares my artistic vision. Unfortunate really. Still, Scarlett. So, wow. Enjoy.
If you just so happen to dig the heck out of boobtastic beauty Scarlett Johansson, you will quite delight in these fancifully faptastic photos of the chesty thespianic shot for her upcoming film, Don Jon.
Even though Scarlett has recently engaged herself to some exceedingly good looking wealthy European dude, that can not stop the pangs of tingles we feel in our lower hearts for the curvaceous hottie that we so badly want to soap up in the shower, front first, natch. Enjoy.
Oh, sure, you could say it’s an easy task for Scarlett Johansson to be the belle of every ball simply by wearing something simple and low cut and showing off her outrageous bosom. And, you’d be right. But, so right. It’s simple for a seven-foot center to dunk. I still applaud like a mechanical monkey every time one of those giants on my team dunks. As I applaud fervently every time Scarlett graces us with her bodacious funbags, a more precious and fuller bodied A-list pair I do not know.
At Toronto Film Festival screening of Don Jon, Scarlett created another memorable round of visual magic. For that, I give her the red carpet stealer of the day award. It’s not so much a trophy really as a soft caress along the front of Scarlett’s fine form while guttural moans emanate from my mouth. So, way better than just a stupid trophy. Enjoy.