Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of boobtastic. It’s time for our weekly adventure into the sporting world by way of epically full and hot funbags. The Battle of the Boobtastic in which we take two completely hot innocent young women with stellar melons and pit them against one another in a contest of chestal greatness. Our sport is not yet recognized by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, but that is only a matter of time and a couple envelopes full of Benjamins.
This week’s tasty treats battle pits the veteran bosom of Sabine Jemeljanova against not so surprisingly strong chest puppy contender, Sam Cooke, in a competition I expect to go right down to the missing brassiere underwire. The competition is always fierce, the contestants always sextastic, and the winner always jumping up and down for jiggly joy. Now comes your part. Decisions decisions. Among our two brilliantly hot lasses, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Prime time matchup this week, as I guess every week. But unlike say, the UFC, where they pretend the contender is a legit contender, this week’s Battle of the Boobtastic features two sets of melons for whom any farmer would secretly slay and bury his neighbor to possess. At least, that’s how I imagine farming to be, I’ve never actually stepped foot outside a city for fear of the moon people.
Mellisa Clarke and Sam Cooke are two silent ‘e’ name ending beauties with the bosom to match. I’d hate to have to be the one to decide which has the finer rack. So I won’t be the one. You will. Mellisa and Sam — who’s ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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I don’t like to play favorites. I will equally aggressively beg and suck up to any hot woman I can find, without distinction for name or class or background, or even chest size for that matter. Large and super large both work fine for me. So I tell you quite earnestly that when we pit the gloriously hot Sam Cooke against veteran divine Holly Peers, in a funbag to funbag contest of goodness, I really have am happy for whomever you decide deserves to take home the $1 million Battle of the Boobtastic prize each week (minus, naturally, a $1 million service fee from Egotastic, we’re still cheaper than Ticketmaster).
So, please, decide away to the most honest of your inner yearnings. Make not points for anything other than your earnest evaluation of the perty plush pears on the frontside of these two luscious ladies. Among these two fine female forms, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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There’s no particular reason for blondes to battle brunettes, though in my dreams I assure you it happens each evening with lovely fair-haired ladies in Valkyrie costumes wrestling mysteriously dark and sultry women in nothing but sarongs. The redheads tend to be the referees, wearing nothing at all. It takes all kinds of lovely ladies to make the Egotastic! world go ’round, but today, we must break the peace for the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic, where one woman’s jugs win, and the others are declared only second best, but still to die for.
This week’s battle features blonde hotie Sam Cooke and her Cupid’s bow of chestal goodness versus titan Lacey Banghard and her brunette sensational knockers. Don’t leer too long before you render your decision as to the finer pair of lady melons. In short, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme this week?
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Some people love it when a plan comes together, I love it when two ridiculously hot women with full chests come together to press their cases in the Battle of the Boobtastic. And the contenders this week, well, the word abbondanza comes to mind. For we have two of the finest melons facing off in the world’s most popular non-violent sport. Sam Cooke, one wicked hot blonde vs. Holly Peers, the inimitable brunette buxom sweetness.
Who can possibly decide the winner among these two Mother Nature blessed beauties? Well, you must. Right now. Whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Oh, heavenly competition. Who could have divined such an idea, to pit two perfectly pert Page 3 glamour models and against one another in a battle of the finer bouncy parts. Well, I did one night after four Red Bulls and Vodkas without any Red Bull. Though I can hardly take credit for one of the most natural instincts of man, to see a woman and compare her to the very next woman who walks by. Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game, or something street like that.
This week’s Battle of the Boobtastic features two adorably sextastic kittens, Sabine Jemeljanova and Sam Cooke, both veterans of the melon wars, brunette vs. blonde, facing off in a pillow fight to the finish. One will win, one will lose (though still be super hot and successful, so shed no tears). So, today, I ask you, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
You can take your grey and white smoke signals all you want. Here at Egotastic!, when it’s time to elect a new queen of the chest puppies, we put our two top contenders of the week into the Thunderdome of Ta-Ta’s and let them duke it out for queen of the flesh hills. This is how grown men decide important matters.
This week’s Battle of the Boobtastic features Page 3 hotness from blonde delight Sam Cooke and her opponent, the ever-ready and ever-wood inducing Holly Peers. Two supremely fine women blessed with amazing chest puppies. You’d dream of taking both home to meet your mother, but there can only be one. So, you must decide, whose early spring melons reign supreme?
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