Salma Hayek

Puss ‘N Boobs

By Jon | May 11, 2011 @ 11:46 am

Salma Hayek flashes her awesome cleavage. (Celebuzz)

Mick Jagger daughter gets nekkid. (FoxNews)

Rachel McAdams hot new magazine spread. (LaineyGossip)

Coco wears a revealing bikini. (HuffPo)

Kate Upton sexiest twitpics. (TheChive)

Doutzen Kroes bikini action. (DrunkenStepfather)

Beyonce gives us a little taste. (GossipOnThis)

Salma Hayek Classic Nekkid to Celebrate Cinco De Mayo (VIDEO)

By Bill Swift | May 5, 2011 @ 1:15 am

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Ah, independence. And from the French of all peoples. That feels extra good. A salute to you, good people of Mexico on this anniversary of some very eventful shit going down in the way back. Feliz Cinco De Mayo! And while the tradition of drinking yourself silly on some highly watered down beers and cheese-product nachos is a proud one, I'd like to suggest a holiday where we get all traditional and remember what this holiday really means -- it means Mexico is free to export its Latina hotties all over the Egotastic! planet; and if Salma Hayek isn't one of the most important Mexican exports of the past several decades, I'm not sure what is. I've lusted this hottie from Veracruz since Desperado, and I haven't stopped leering at her since. One of her more underrated films, underrated by way of often missed nekkid body, Ask the Dust, where the sultry boobtastic Latina takes it all off for some memorable waterplay. On this holiday of Cinco De Mayo, we choose to honor Salma Hayek's hotness and how a little bit of revolution saved her from the French. (You know, if you discount the fact that her new husband is French and probably gets to frolic in her fleshy parts nightly; oh, the cruel ironies of history).

Feliz Cinco De Mayo Para La Gente de Mexico.

Check Out Salma All Wet and Nekkid »

Ashley Greene, Miranda Kerr, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Rihanna Lead Mega List of Met Gala Hotties

By Bill Swift | May 3, 2011 @ 1:21 am

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What if you had a hottie party and every hottie in Hottieville showed up?

Another year, another invitation to the Costume Gala at the Metropolitan Museum lost in the mail by my postal delivery specialist, Mr. Tritonovich. Alas, I was all dressed up in my finest Zubaz pants with nowhere to get. Thankfully, my good friends from Italy, Signor Paparaazo, kept me busy all evening long with a never-ending stream of sexy celebrities at the Met Gala. The list is ridiculous. Granted, this is a party where a bunch of dudes with exotic names and no interest whatsoever in women's boobs, design a bunch of high-fashion for celebrities and pretend that they care how their models asses look in their couture. Nevertheless, even with billowing fabrics, feathers, and an assortment of things way to complicated for normal dudes to ever undress off of a woman, there was a supernova's worth of heat coming off the Met red carpet last night, among which, my favorites, if forced to choose, were Ashley Greene (just incredibly hot), Miranda Kerr (and her new boobtastic), Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (getting steamier as Transformers 3 approaches), and Rihanna (who more and more resembles a classic sculpture of some hottie princess from exotic lands).

In addition to this quadrangle of sextastic quim, there were a bazillion and one other sexy celebs, but as a result of the beer-drinking-is-making-me-sleepy principal this evening, I did cut the list down to: Evan Rachel Wood (how is this girl not more highly rated?), Lily Aldridge (L.A.'s finest offspring), Bar Refaeli (Israeli hottie), Beyonce (the booty call of my dreams), Fergie (I'd like to add my gravy to her peas), Madonna (oh yea, give it up for Madge at 52), Kristen Stewart (who could not bring herself to smile), Taylor Swift (just a classic beauty), Kate Hudson (pregnant by yet another rocker), Jessica Alba (naturally), Salma Hayek (veteran MILF hottie), Ciara (still don't know who she is, still lust her), Emma Roberts (getting toward sextastic levels), Gwynneth Paltrow (I don't like her, but I'd tap that... nevermind), Christina Hendricks (busty and delicious), Penelope Cruz (en fuego MILF), Blake Lively (the newest hottest ginger), Sofia Vergara (the maker of wanton dreams), Lea Michele (Glee petite sweet), Dianna Agron (mo' mo' Glee hottie), Gisele Bundchen (belongs on every hottie list), and Zoe Saldana (one of my secret lust crushes).

Wow. If you remove all the hotties from that list and add my grandma, you have my most recent birthday party E-vite YES list. Enjoy.

Salma Hayek Red Bikini Pictures Take It To A Whole New Island

By Bill Swift | December 30, 2010 @ 8:11 am

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My ocular devices have been pretty much fried from the past several days of ogling sexy celebrities in Los Cabos; thankfully, some nerve endings remain capable of capturing the site of the classic boobtastic Salma Hayek in her little red swimsuit on the island of St. Bart's. Something about seeing this veteran hottie on a tropical island that feeds into my stranded castaway fantasies like no other. You know, at first, she'd say something like 'I wouldn't be with you if you were the last person on this island.' Then, like ten years later, after realizing I was the last person on the island, she'd say hello to me or something. Oh, to dream. These Salma Hayek bikini pictures show me that this Latina MILF still has plenty of game left in her sextastic tanks. Full bodied women are for men with minds full of naughty thoughts. Enjoy.

Photo credit: bauergriffinonline.com

Salma Hayek’s Boobs, Yep, All ‘Grown Up’

By Bill Swift | June 24, 2010 @ 10:00 am

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Somebody once said that the best gifts in life come in small packages. That person obviously never ogled the rack on the ever-sexy Salma Hayek. Salma Hayek cleavage pictures set the standard for oomph. These big, beautiful breasts must have moons of their own, orbiting the mother planets. And speaking of Salma Hayek's moon... oh, but we digress. The sultry Latina put her amazing fun bags on high cleavage mode for the premiere of Grown Ups, which I'm definitely seeing, alone, in the dark, in the corner, drooling. En feugo!

Photo credit: Fame/ INF Photo / pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Salma Hayek’s Nipples Are Damn Glad to Meet You

By Bill Swift | June 22, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

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(Update: a number of EgoFans have written to tell me that what I see in this picture are not nipples, but dress seams covering nipples. Some are even accusing me of dreaming about seeing Salma Hayek's nipples everywhere I look. Well, as to the former, if true, I say, shame on you dress designer, you sneaky clever nipple-mimicking bastard. As to the latter, guilty as charged. I just got a Happy Meal at McDonald's and the McNuggets reminded me of Salma Hayek's bountiful boobs; I'm hooked on Hayek!)

Salma Hayek is in my personal hotness Hall of Fame. She's been flashing her smile and bodacious body, booty, and boobs for years now, all the while battling Father Time by sacrificing innocent children to her demon overlord. She's still super sexy. And last night, she was damn excited to be appearing on the David Letterman Show. Salma Hayek nipple poke pictures prove that sexy, powerful nipples could bust through a brick wall, if properly inspired. I am thankful to bear witness to such magical cleavage and boobs. Te amo, Salma.

Photo credit: INF Photo / pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Salma Hayek Bikini Pictures

By phil | May 8, 2009 @ 1:02 pm

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If ever there was a woman built for a bikini, it's Salma Hayek, and while I wish these Salma Hayek bikini pictures were a little bigger, and that her bikini was a little smaller, I'll take what I can get. All I know is, that boyfriend (husband?) of her's is one lucky Billionaire. But then again, aren't all Billionaires lucky?