Sabine Jemeljanova

Sabine Jemeljanova Plays Topless Secretary of Every Man’s (And Amber Heard’s) Dream

 

Have you ever thought to yourself, boy, it sure would be nice to have a hot busty topless secretary working for me. I know I have, even when I've been the secretary. Sadly, I tend to keep employed the roustabouts, delinquents, and horribly failed streetwalkers that form the bulk of my moderate to moderate-light working staff. But I know it won't hurt their feelings to hear I'd trade them all in in a heartbeat for crazy salacious Sabine Jemeljanova and her goods aplenty in the workplace.

Featured in a new photoshoot from our friends at Nuts magazine, Sabine reminds us of a time that only really ever existed in our minds, but perhaps one of the finest fantasies ever, the naughty office worker who seems to have lost her top. I wouldn't chide Sabine for her office faux pas, just give her a gentle reminder that if she ever feels the need to unleash her beasts and give them some air, that the more proper setting would be my office with the doors closed and my Def Leppard mix tape playing softly in the background. Love Bites, Sabine, but I only nibble. Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Sabine, Joey, Rosie, and Melissa Get Together for a Topless Office Party

 

Oh blessed final day of the workweek, you have arrived like a cold frosty beverage on a sweaty hot day. The perfect capper to a week of pretend labor and overhyped sighs. As always, I do hope the week on Egotastic! helps you get through your daily grind with a bit of a smile and perhaps a happy tingle or two. Of course, I am helped in my efforts by the hotness likes of Joey Fisher, Melissa Debling, Rosie Jones, and Sabine Jemeljanova, who all got topless at the Nuts magazine office for some visual wonderments. It's the office I always imagined Id work in, you know, act like I wasn't staring as four wickedly sextastic women began to unrobe around me while my insides were melting. I'm blessed to have something not too dissimilar. Minus Rosie, Joey, Melissa, and Sabina. Alas.

On Fridays we give thanks to the beautiful bevy of boobtastic babes that grace our hearts and minds each and every day we have the opportunity to breathe and to ogle. These four ladies just make the world that much sweeter. A wonderful contribution indeed. Thank God It's Funbags!

Staci Noblett Chest Thumps Sabine Jemeljanova in a Thanksgiving Edition Battle of the Boobtastic

 

There's nothing truly Thanksgiving about this particular Battle of the Boobtastic save for the large number of turkey day puns and metaphors I will likely exploit. Like talking about the hen pecking commencing between Staci Noblett and her cornucopia of chestal goodies and Sabine Jemeljanova, a girl who could make even a Pilgrim feel, well, unpuritanical.

On this day of giving thanks we feel gratefu that assaults of the virtual funbag kind result in perhaps a bit of disappointment, but never any real harm. These are the best kinds of conflicts, where even the loser can be cheered up with a few minutes of high-spirited motorboating. But, alas, even on this day of coming together, we must choose sides. One set of winners, one set of knockers that take home the boobie prize. So, in your humblest of opinions, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Staci Noblett vs. Sabine Jemeljanova

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Thank God It’s Funbags! Sabine Jemeljanova Topless for the Front End of the Weekend

 

You made it. I made it. We all made it to Friday. The single most blessed day of the seven options. They day from whence dreams stem. I recently heard some nerd exclaim that people who idolize the weekend are people that take no joy in their work week. I punched that nerd right in his Fantastic Four Issue 3 mint in wrapper.

I dig my job. I ever so dig my weekends. Granted, I aim to see sweet delicious funbags with the same gusto in either venue. That might have something to do with it. As an example, the sweet melon treats of gloriously hot Sabine Jemeljanova in Front magazine. Sabine isn't just topless, she's benevolent. She's giving. How can you not love this sextastic lady-filled planet every single day of the week? Thank God It's Funbags!

Katia Ivanova Goes Pup to Pup with Sabine Jemeljanova in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

As the world prepares for some sort of far too real military battle, we are reminded of just how fine this planet would be if all disputes were settled by the pitting of hot girl vs. hot girl in a a battle of supremely special chests. I mean, maybe we'd still allow a good schoolyard nose punching, because those flag football controversies need to be settled in some traditional manner, but outside of a little shnozz bopping, we'd resolve all conflict with the sextastic likes of Katia Ivanova and Sabine Jemeljanova smooshing their pillowy delights against one another until a winner is declared.

Yes, I have a dream too. Many. Each night. And they do tend to involve girls like Katia and Sabine pressing the flesh in sweet struggle for a Battle of the Boobtastic trophy that only you can award with your votes. So, vote now, and vote often, and decide for us today, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Katia Ivanova vs. Sabine Jemeljanova

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Sabine Jemeljanova Desperately Hot and Fully Loaded

 

Oh, how I happen to love girls named Sabine with beautiful faces and bodies so hot that you don't get to that beautiful face for a good long while.

Sabine Jemeljanova has more than wonderful boobtastic, she knows how to use it. From head to toe she is smiling, preening, posing, and adding a little 'x' factor to her pictorials that not ever chesty girl out there can do. But in this Loaded magazine spread, wow, I'd score it with more than just one x to mark all the spots I'd like to discover.

Thank you once again, Mother Nature. Your bounty is unlimited. Enjoy.

Rosie Jones Gloriously Chests Up to Sabine Jemeljanova In Our Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Fresh off her 23rd birthday celebration, the inimitable Rosie Jones is back in the game, working her two globes of fleshy perfection in contest against one of the unsung heroes of the chesty game, Sabine Jemeljanova, in a match of the mammaries that could only truly be decided by a set of funbag experts we like to call the EgoReader audience.

Each week as we circle around the Thunderdome of the truly splendid seasonal melons to decide who's tubes deserve the gold medal, we cast a very important vote. Sure, the swing of Presidential elections and the like determine the outcome of many vital world events. But there is no force in this world more powerful than that of the sweet udders that each week engage in the Battle of the Boobtastic. So, please, choose wisely. But choose you must -- and tell us, who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Rosie Jones vs. Sabine Jemeljanova

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