Holy difficult choices, Batman. Or, Ben Affleck. This week’s epic Battle of the Boobtastic pits two true funbag giants against one another on the Thunderdome of the Ta-Ta’s where only one pert natural pair may survive, the other left to feel naught but the comforting massage of my cold holds as consolation.
In one corner we have Page 3 Idol winner Lacey Banghard, a legend in her own young right, against veteran blonde chest puppy dominator, Rhian Sugden, who holds her own, as would if I had her ridiculously hot set of knockers. Alas, we only had enough money for one fake trophy, so now you must decides, who’s blessed cups reign supreme?
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Say what you will about women with amazing funbags, and I can think of about ten thousand wonderful things to say, but they are steady in their purpose, and when pitted against one another in a chesty battle, the fur will most definitely fly. I might be generalizing a tad. But that’s the nature of sport, with no physical competition more demanding or more intense than our very own Battle of the Boobtastic.
This week we feature the eminently hot bodied Staci Noblett mounting her mammaries against one of our truly favorite bits of sextastic sunshine, Rhian Sugden. It’s not a battle to the death, but a battle for our hearts and lower minds. Only one girl can come win. Who shall it be? Whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Oh, how I miss Rhian Sugden and her natural blonde beauty. Well, the hair may not be all natural, but the important bits remain untouched by hands other than for romantic intent. Seeing Rhian Sugden in this cheeky topless spread in Interviu magazine in Spain, well, it’s quite a nice Friday treat.
Rhian truly is one of those stunning young women of the sextastic world who makes you smile every time you see them. And when her clothes come off, well, you just smile all over. I also get a rash, but my doctor tells me it’s most psychosomatic, which I think is Latin for the fact that I really like hot nekkid blonde girls. I just wish the rash would move to an easier place to powder. Enjoy.
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When the platinum haired busty ladies throw down, you know the fur will fly, skin will be bared, and my heart will probably stop three to four times just on principle alone. How dare we pit two such ridiculously hot blonde ladies against one another in our Thunderdome of Fungbags. Oh, we dare. We dare.
This week’s Battle of the Boobtastic features the delicious Page 3 model, Katia Ivanova, taking on the radiantly needing-to-be-ravaged hot body all over of our heavily belusted Rhian Sugden. It’s going to get ugly by getting super hot. But only one can come out the champion. And it’s up to you and your little man to decide. Who’s ta-ta-’s reign supreme?
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When two ridiculously hot women start taking off their clothes and touching and biting each other, don’t ask a lot of questions. In my case, just stay quietly hidden in the closet or from your vantage point outside their sorority room window. If you question it, it may go away.
Images of the belusted hotties Rosie Jones and Rhian Sugden going at it playfully in their new Nuts photoshoot brings back more than one, in fact, about 17,245, pubescent fantasies of my own involving girls getting all sweaty and Sapphic in grown up person lingerie, and not much else. Hey, some kids dreamed about hitting a home run in the World Series or landing a spaceship on Mars. I just wanted to see a hot topless girl biting another hot topless girls finger. I’ve achieved my dream. And you wonder why I’m happy all the time. Enjoy.
Two literal boobtastic giants in their own field, though I wish they were in my field, out back, Rhian Sugden and India Reynolds, hella hot and pitting their fine fine chest puppies against one another in this week’s Battle of the Boobtastic.
These two Page 3 glamour fame models have likely not heard the word ‘no’ much before in their lives. But today, here in the Thunderdome of all things funbaggery, one will have to learn that they were not the winner. As always, you must decide their tears or joy. So, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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To be fair, Sharon Stone was quite the thing in Basic Instinct. Butchy sexy hot, it was all working back then in those many memorable scenes, including the infamous uncrossing of the legs for the lady nest reveal. Wayne Knight was never the same afterward. If there’s anyone I’d like to see channel those same Basic Instinct looks, well, Rhian Sugden is right at the top of that list.
So agreed our friends at Loaded magazine who put the sextastic blonde up to the challenge of invoking some of those very same happy memories twenty years later. Only, with mammaries included. Rhian’s fine funbags the icing on the callback cake. I’m feeling a little of my own basic instinct welling up now. Enjoy.