Reese Witherspoon flashes her sweet cleavage. (TheSuperficial)
Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens honeymoon is over. (Celebuzz)
Brooklyn Decker bikini bonanza. (TheChive)
Malin Akerman wants to teach you a lesson. (CollegeHumor)
Kate Beckinsale looking hot as always. (Celebslam)
Rihanna nipple ring pokes. (DrunkenStepfather)
Has Jennifer Lopez booty gotten bigger? (Popoholic)
I'm not sure 'water your elephant' actually means anything, but I need to double check the Urban Dictionary. I am quite sure that Reese Witherspoon absolutely stole the effin' red carpet hotness show this weekend at two different Euro premiere of Water for Elephants, where she stars opposite that oof from Twilight and does something to an elephant that I can't speak of in polite company (or maybe it's a love story or something, I don't really know, I just know it's from one of those novels my girlfriend reads and cries and I know never ever to ask why). Maybe it's just me, but this second or third or whatever marriage seems to be doing nice things to Reese; she's glowing, or she's just looking hot and the sweat forming in my eye sockets makes her appear to glow. Either way, jogging, push-up bras, and regular sex seem to be working wonders for her. Enjoy.
I guess this is like the moment when Oprah tells some female celebrity that she's really coming into her own. So, I guess we can tell Reese Witherspoon this is her time. Re-married, gittin' some, jogging daily in tight stretch pants, and now putting on the sexy poses in Elle U.K. where the little blonde actress gives the fierce and sexy look a try. Personally, I'll take her innocent MILF looks to fuel my secretly naughty girl fantasies, but, nothing wrong with a little vamping every now and then for a sexy celebrity. Enjoy.
Literally, I've never seen a man so in crush before with a girl he has no shot at as poor Cousin Jonathan. I mean, of course I've seen unrequited lust before; and I definitely know guys who imagine that Miranda Kerr is their girlfriend (me, thrice daily, in the coat closet here). But the way Cousin Jonathan sits here in his own pile of tears, especially since Reese Witherspoon tied the knot once again with her agent or manager or somebody works who with him or something. Well, the ShamWow has been working overtime here, sopping up the sobbing remnants of a man who believes he's lost his shot at a celebrity hottie forever. It's sad on one level, but we still mock him, of course. Especially given how extra hot Reese Witherspoon has been looking since her wedding night of continuously making the sexy, even just strutting about Brentwood not in jogging clothes. Enjoy.
Reese Witherspoon strokes a mighty trunk. (FoxNews)
Kristen Bell sweet bikini body. (Celebuzz)
January Jones is scary sexy. (HuffPo)
Zooey Deschanel at her hottest. (CityRag)
Kate Upton teases with her mouth. (DrunkenStepfather)
Sofia Vergara squeezes into some tight pants. (Popoholic)
Elsa Pataky perfect bikini goodness. (WWTDD)
Seriously, I think a restraining order is in order on Cousin Jonathan, and I say that knowing just how difficult it is to see family members fall victim to the whims of various laws and statutes. (Shoutout to Uncle MoMo in high security at Corcoran!) But how can one man lust Reese Witherspoon so very much that he trails her butt 24x7 with the pretend camera we give him, it's really just his fingers framed into a square that we convinced him actually takes photos. You should see the poor bastard running around Brentwood holding out his hands like a kid at the state fair juggling a freshly fried corndog and yelling, 'Reese, Reese, give us a picture, love.' And he's not even British. So sad. Still, she does have a nice MILFass. Enjoy.
Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com
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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 3.16Read More » |
Egotastic
![Pacific Rim - Official Main Trailer [HD]](http://cdn01.cdn.egotastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/16/Pacific-Rim-Official-Main-Trailer-HD-100x75.jpg "Pacific Rim - Official Main Trailer [HD]")
The Best of the Sexy at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards
I'll say this for last night's MTV Movie Awards -- they brought out the hotties. I mean, they didn't let anyone get within 1,000 feet of the big stars, and kept pushing their sorry-sap teen drama queens from unknown shows on the public in a promotional display, but in the back somewhere, through a secret entrance, they were guiding in the uber-sextastic, the likes of Selena Gomez, Brooklyn Decker, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and many many more to glam it up for five minutes of posing before being whisked back to their VIP suite and their handlers. Hey, even hottie Blake Lively made a highly guarded (I mean, seriously, guarded) appearance, despite her current controversies. At the end of the day, despite having to deal with the MTV craptastic machine, it does make it all worthwhile. Enjoy.
Award show postscript: whoa, if you've never had reason to be jealous of Justin Timberlake before, you know, for banging Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel, how about this full on boob-grab of super sexy Mila Kunis at the award show last night. It's almost too much, I mean, for somebody other than me to get to do. So unfair.
Thanks to EgoReader 'Mike B' who alerted us to this Amber Lancaster twitpic from behind the GIbson Amphitheater where the RJ Berger cheerleader seems to be flashing something very close to a nipple slip, very close.