Billionaire Barbie doesn’t have many shots at Awards season red carpet appearances so you know she’s going to make the most of it. At a pre-Grammy party last night, Paris dressed to impress with a dress that nearly showed off her lady parts, but kept just enough of her dignity to be more than enough dignity for Paris Hilton.
Say what you will about Billionaire Barbie, she get gets noticed. She doesn’t scream or light herself on fire or even crash her cars so much anymore. She just figures out when and where to show a little something something expensive, and she gets noticed. I think this is semi-applause worthy. I know that dress is. We salute the skin. Enjoy.
It’s not easy being Billionaire Barbie. Okay, I guess it’s easier than being most anybody else in terms of actual daily hardship, still, Paris Hilton has an amazing number of obligatory publicity related activities to attend on a daily basis. Like visiting the Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in L.A. where the celebrities go to be photographed with their young families picking out Halloween gourds each year.
Don’t think lack of adorable kiddies is going to stop Billionaire Barbie from a seasonal photo op. So, Paris got into something expensive and cleavy and made her way to the patch to pick out some pumpkins, flash a little chest, and smile for the cameras while pretending she didn’t notice anybody was looking. In case you’re unaware, she’s very good at this particular skill. Enjoy.
Billionaire Barbie does not take kindly to all the attention girls are getting for photoshoots with Terry Richardson, so she grabbed her supremely boring sister Nicky Hilton and the two of them shot a something something with Terry in his studio. I’m sure Terry was excited to have a couple high-maintenance self-censoring sisters in his studios as opposed to those free-spirited edgy actresses and porn stars he usually shoots.
Nevertheless, the girls did put on something of a leggy show for their photoshoot, not exactly pushing the boundaries of naughtiness, but more so checking off their cocktail party conversation list checkbox for ‘did a Terry Richardson photoshoot’. Enjoy.
I’m quite nervous about Machete Kills. It seems like a movie I should absolutely positively effin’ love, which always makes me nervous about suffering disappointment. Beneath my obviously unmatchably masculine exterior lies a tender heart of an oft-wounded boy. I’m not sure I could handle this movie sucking.
And how can hopes not be high with the stellar sextastic cast involved, including several Latina hotties who showed up to last night’s movie premiere, including notably Alexa Vega and Sofia Vergara. Both play fine body exhibiting roles in this Spanish shlock fest. All the more reason I can not contain my enthusiasm. This better not be a big fall. Enjoy.
Naturally, being an icon of fashion and diligence and hard work, Billionaire Barbie was going to take her turn at our around the catwalks of New York Fashion Week. And while we do like to have a little fun at the expense of the partying/DJing heiress, we always give credit where it’s due, and Paris is due a little credit for her pushed up gazoonkers and only being on the phone for two-thirds of her time at the event.
Actually, the phone part doesn’t bother me as I imagine my short lived relationship with Billionaire Barbie to consist almost entirely of her taking an important gossip phone call while I get to see what has fascinated so many wealthy coked up men in the past. It’s a win win. Paris gets to confirm her lunch plans for the weekend and I get to confirm some sneaky suspicions that not everything on Paris is completely nature made.
How many weeks does Fashion week run exactly? Enjoy.
Somebody very wise once told me, in every pile of poop there is a nugget of gold. It took me a lot of really messy ventures before I realized this was just a metaphor for finding the silver lining in cloud, which, is also a metaphor I never really understood. But I applied it to New York Fashion Week, a multi-day celebration of people spending tons of money to cover up women’s bodies. At least, that’s how I see fashion. And it could be quite depressing that so many billions of dollars go into making it harder for us to see the true beauty of the fine female form, were it not for the fact that so many fine females actually attend events like New York Fashion Week.
And I couldn’t help but notice this weekend, so many of them were in leather. Now, chaps and spankings fantasies aside, there’s no denying seeing super hotties like AnnaSophia Robb, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and Stacy Keibler in leather goods makes me feel like a very horny cowboy. I was going to say happy cowboy, but you’d know I just meant horny. So, check out these gold nuggets of hot tanned cow skin. It almost makes Fashion Week worthwhile.