Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Flashes Flesh at Mr. Bones

It’s not easy being Billionaire Barbie. Okay, I guess it’s easier than being most anybody else in terms of actual daily hardship, still, Paris Hilton has an amazing number of obligatory publicity related activities to attend on a daily basis. Like visiting the Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in L.A. where the celebrities go to be photographed with their young families picking out Halloween gourds each year.

Don’t think lack of adorable kiddies is going to stop Billionaire Barbie from a seasonal photo op. So, Paris got into something expensive and cleavy and made her way to the patch to pick out some pumpkins, flash a little chest, and smile for the cameras while pretending she didn’t notice anybody was looking. In case you’re unaware, she’s very good at this particular skill. Enjoy.

Paris and Nicky Hilton Pose Leggy for Terry Richardson

Billionaire Barbie does not take kindly to all the attention girls are getting for photoshoots with Terry Richardson, so she grabbed her supremely boring sister Nicky Hilton and the two of them shot a something something with Terry in his studio. I’m sure Terry was excited to have a couple high-maintenance self-censoring sisters in his studios as opposed to those free-spirited edgy actresses and porn stars he usually shoots.

Nevertheless, the girls did put on something of a leggy show for their photoshoot, not exactly pushing the boundaries of naughtiness, but more so checking off their cocktail party conversation list checkbox for ‘did a Terry Richardson photoshoot’. Enjoy.

Alexa Vega, Sofia Vergara, and Paris Hilton Lead List of Hotties at Machete Kills Premiere

I’m quite nervous about Machete Kills. It seems like a movie I should absolutely positively effin’ love, which always makes me nervous about suffering disappointment. Beneath my obviously unmatchably masculine exterior lies a tender heart of an oft-wounded boy. I’m not sure I could handle this movie sucking.

And how can hopes not be high with the stellar sextastic cast involved, including several Latina hotties who showed up to last night’s movie premiere, including notably Alexa Vega and Sofia Vergara. Both play fine body exhibiting roles in this Spanish shlock fest. All the more reason I can not contain my enthusiasm. This better not be a big fall. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Works the Cleave for Fashion Week

Naturally, being an icon of fashion and diligence and hard work, Billionaire Barbie was going to take her turn at our around the catwalks of New York Fashion Week. And while we do like to have a little fun at the expense of the partying/DJing heiress, we always give credit where it’s due, and Paris is due a little credit for her pushed up gazoonkers and only being on the phone for two-thirds of her time at the event.

Actually, the phone part doesn’t bother me as I imagine my short lived relationship with Billionaire Barbie to consist almost entirely of her taking an important gossip phone call while I get to see what has fascinated so many wealthy coked up men in the past. It’s a win win. Paris gets to confirm her lunch plans for the weekend and I get to confirm some sneaky suspicions that not everything on Paris is completely nature made.

How many weeks does Fashion week run exactly?  Enjoy.

Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Stacy Keibler Lead List of Hotties in Leather at New York Fashion Week

Somebody very wise once told me, in every pile of poop there is a nugget of gold. It took me a lot of really messy ventures before I realized this was just a metaphor for finding the silver lining in cloud, which, is also a metaphor I never really understood. But I applied it to New York Fashion Week, a multi-day celebration of people spending tons of money to cover up women’s bodies. At least, that’s how I see fashion. And it could be quite depressing that so many billions of dollars go into making it harder for us to see the true beauty of the fine female form, were it not for the fact that so many fine females actually attend events like New York Fashion Week.

And I couldn’t help but notice this weekend, so many of them were in leather. Now, chaps and spankings fantasies aside, there’s no denying seeing super hotties like AnnaSophia Robb, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and Stacy Keibler in leather goods makes me feel like a very horny cowboy. I was going to say happy cowboy, but you’d know I just meant horny. So, check out these gold nuggets of hot tanned cow skin. It almost makes Fashion Week worthwhile.

Paris Hilton Bikini Pictures Put the Heiress Lean-Topped and Red Center in Malibu

Billionaire Barbie has been hosting a bunch of parties in Malibu the past few weeks. Beachy affairs featuring her fun celebrities friends and party buddies watching her teen boyfriend dance around and surf and talk about how things are totally rad in his continuation high school.

There’s no denying Billionaire Barbie still manages to pull of the fine bikini look, including her little red top and a fashionable way to cover up any imperfections in her cheeky bottom. If you’re an heiress who likes to get her party on, those buns aren’t always going to be super tight. So you need a little cover up. Still, overall, it’s still working. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Bikini Pictures for the Not So Private Girl Weekend Beach Party

Last week we saw the killer blowout party that Billionaire Barbie through for herself and a couple hundred of her closest friends for the 4th of July in Malibu. Well, the heiress decided to stay out at the summer house for the long weekend with just her purse dog and her young male model boyfriend for some extra days of tanning and bikini preening. For Paris, I guess you could call this a vacation from her regular work routine of hanging out at the beach and in nightclubs, which is far more draining than people might expect. Sleeping til noon only sounds easy until you’re forced to do it.

Nevertheless, the blonde party girl did manage to pull off not one, but two separate bikini looks this weekend…

…reminding everyone why she still gets paid the big bucks in certain Middle Eastern nations to swing the big stick, or do something with the big stick that gets you paid. She is a national treasure. Enjoy.