Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Daisy Dukes Her Way to Seducing a New Boyfriend

When Billionaire Barbie goes on the prowl to secure a new male victim to spread her, err, love around, like any solid succubus, she works her way into some alluring playful outfit that belies her true intentions. So when taking her new college-aged male model boyfriend to Miami for the weekend, Paris Hilton hit up some short shorts to dance about her mate and convince him that she would be his for eternity, or January, whichever comes first. Honestly, I should send these photos to the Center for Disease Control to build a case study on how outbreaks continue.

Still, we must hand it to Billionaire Barbie, she continues to successfully rake in the cash and the new young victims, and even manage to swing an extra seat for her powder connect alongside the pool. She really is a pretty solid manager. With not too shabby legs. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton DJs In India, Because Bar Mitzvahs in the U.S. Were Not Interested

I think it's because Billionaire Barbie and her lazy eye resemble one of the India gods of some type, but for some reason, the blonde heiress has an intense following in the subcontinent, where, not to be outdone by her former running mate Kim Kardashian who has been touring the Middle East, Paris spun some wicked tunes at Fashion Week in India. We're told saris are big this year by the way.

Now, we can mock Billionaire Barbie all we want, and we will, but this girl has some kind of pretty damn fun lifestyle. So, put your hands up, put your hands up, and party like it's your last night on earth, because if you fooled around unprotected with Paris in the bathroom, you actually may not have long to live. Enjoy.

9 Reasons Why You Should Care If Paris Hilton Got New Bigger Boobs

Now, it might just be that Billionaire Barbie got into a new line of push-up bras, but something has definitely been happening growth wise in her exposed chestal region. Now, you may say, I could care less if Paris Hilton got new bigger boobs, but here's 9 Reasons why you should care.

9. STDs can not be contracted from girls with big hooters (documented scientific fact)
8. Your copy of '1 Night in Paris' suddenly becomes retro-collective in value
7. Girls with big boobs always offered rides; countless lives saved from Paris being off the streets
6. Anything to do with tits is more interesting than hearing about politics
5. More movie roles for Paris! The Hottie and The Nottie Part 2 anyone?
4. Distracts attention from the lazy eye boner killer
3. French fucking now becomes an option on Paris' professional services menu
2. More press about Paris equals certain chance Kim Kardashian releases another sex tape
1. Now there's really no reason for Paris to ever speak to get attention

Good work, Billionaire Barbie!

Paris Hilton Pushes Up Her Chest Puppies For Halloween at the Playboy Mansion

We had two good eyes on Billionaire Barbie and her one good eye as she put together her chest-twosome in rather noteworthy proportions for a Halloween costume splash at the Playboy Mansion party. Let's face it, there's going to be some stiff-boobed competition at these events, and Paris would not be denied her turn of the camera clicks as she made her way into the party with her new 15-year old boyfriend who we hope paid attention during the safe sex seminars in Freshman year of high school.

We always give Billionaire Barbie her credit, when due, and at Halloween, she did put on a strong bodily performance. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Pushes Boobs Up Up Up for Bootsy Bellows Arrival

One thing you must begrudge Billionaire Barbie, she knows how to make an entrance.

The blonde hotel heiress Paris Hilton arrived at the trendy Hollywood nightclub with her modest sized chestal region cinched up good and tight in a form fitting red dress, alongside her new young boyfriend, which for Paris means fresh new limb bruises and better yayo. But for us spectators, just the benefit of the showier outfits when heading out on the town.

Seems like a square deal to me, especially considering her boyfriend five boyfriends ago claimed he dropped nearly 2 million on expenses when with Paris, while she just dropped her panties. Hey, everything is a barter in the world of Billionaire Barbie. Enjoy.

Why Are Paris Hilton’s Nipples So Excited? Cause They’re About to Get Paid

Little known fact about Billionaire Barbie, well, not little known to her accountant -- have you ever wondered where Paris' play money comes from? I mean, the stuff that pays for what's on her back or up her nose? It's not from the family hotel fortune, it's from personal appearance and promotional fees and the bulk of those fees come from overseas engagements, many in the Far East or Middle East, where Billionaire Barbie remains an iconic star.

In realms such as Turkey, where Paris adorns billboards and magazines and somehow has become a blonde fashion and lifestyle icon to tons and tons of chain smoking men and women, nightclubs and shopping malls pay her big bucks to come and dance and wink her good eye and get wasted. This explains why Paris has such stiff headlights as she exited her plane in Istanbul for a cash run in Turkey. When the headlights are on, Billionaire Barbie is about to get paid. Count on it. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Bikini Vacation in Maui To Relieve the Stress of Her Heiress Lifestyle

Just when you thought Paris Hilton was going to use her college high school 2nd grade education for some good, maybe get a job, nope, she has to go and lob some slurs that pissed off the gay community, find a new young boy toy, and jet off to Maui for a few days to give herpes to knock boots with her new young toy.

Ah, life is never easy for Billionaire Barbie. I mean, if you discount the wealthy spoiled everything-at-your-fingertips upbringing, and then the trust funds and the sex tape turned highly paid celebrity party hostess gigs overseas, and the 250K credit limit on her AMEX, it's been rough. So, Paris gets to relax in the Hawaiian surf. And we get to see her in a bikini. We'll do that deal. Enjoy.