Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan, Katy Perry, Paris Hilton, and Other Celebs Flock to the Coachella Music Festival

By Bill Swift | April 16, 2012 @ 10:56 am

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I guess there's two ways to look at it, if you're throwing a party in the Hollywood Hills, you've kind of made it when Lindsay Lohan and Billionaire Barbie stumble into your pad all kinds of wobbly and wasted, however, when you're throwing what you label as an indie rock concert, yeah, not so much on the credibility.

But, so they came, LiLo, Paris, Vanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev, Fergie, Jamie Chung, Katy Perry, Mischa Barton, and scores of other celebutantes, to the Coachella Music Festival, or, should we say, to the special select V.I.P. area of the concert cordoned off from the general riff-raff so that finer alcohol and better drugs could be served in the safety of a celebrity friendly environment.

The only thing missing from complete Coachella sell-out was Justin Bieber throwing down gang signs. But I'm sure if we look hard enough, that was going on somewhere. Enjoy.

LAST YEAR'S COACHELLA BROUGHT US WHITNEY PORT UPSKIRTS AND MORE

Vanessa Hudgens Wears See-Through Bottoms at Coachella

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Paris Hilton Flashes Her Tanlined Butt Cheeks on a Yacht

By Bill Swift | April 2, 2012 @ 9:32 am

Asstastic!

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Paris Asstastic Flashing

Billionaire Barbie Is Not Above a Party Thong 7 Photos »

Ah, the things Billionaire Barbie has done on a yacht, well, the list reads like a combination of Anais Nin journal meets How Did Peggy Get Those Nasty Sores after-school special, it's debauched.

Yet, we can't help but feel a bit lucky today for these asstastic flashes of cheeky tan lines from Paris out on a yacht in the Sydney Harbor celebrating the big stack of cash she earned from dancing at a nightclub in the Aussie city last week. It is a nice bit of tanned rump, and it is for free, and getting anything from Billionaire Barbie for free is quite a coup. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Big Dollar Hot Pimping in Sydney

By Bill Swift | March 30, 2012 @ 1:09 pm

Paris Hilton at Marquee Nightclub in Sydney

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Billionaire Barbie gets about a million to open up a nightclub, if you can believe it. A cool million to bring her spastic dance moves overseas to some V.I.P. nightclub or another. Now, the very reason I don't like nightclubs is the very same reason why it's worth a million dollars for a nightclub to get people thinking Paris parties there.

Nevertheless, Billionaire Barbie put on her top dollar show as she opened up the Marquee Nightclub in Sydney, both her good eye and her lazy eye trained on the dude who hands her a check at the end of the evening for partying at their club. Something is so very wrong with this picture, but we can't stop looking. Enjoy.

PARIS HOT BOXING WITH A JOINT IN HER CAR

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Paris Hilton Swimsuit Pictures Try to Ruin My Beloved Bondi Beach

By Bill Swift | March 29, 2012 @ 8:51 am

Paris Hilton Blue Swimsuit in Bondi Beach

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As you know, Bondi Beach down Australia way is perhaps the single finest celebrity babe-watching spot in all the Southern Hemisphere, and Billionaire Barbie tried to ruin it yesterday with her dog and ride the white pony show, posing and primping for her paparazzi following along the sandy strip of usual goodness.

Now, I know what you're thinking when seeing Billionaire Barbie in this revealing blue swimsuit, where on earth is she hiding her cocaine? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, until we saw her latest new temporary boyfriend, DJ Afrojack, instructed to stand ten paces back, out of her photo site line. Sometimes in the recreational use drug stowing business, you've got to count on your buddy. Enjoy.

Check Out Paris' Dance Moves in Miami Video »

Paris Hilton Gets Her Bikini Working as Her DJ Boyfriend Plays Football and Mixes Music or Some Such Nonsense

By Bill Swift | March 22, 2012 @ 8:42 am

Paris Hilton Bikini Top at an Afrojack Concert

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Here are three things you will never convince me of, ever:

Billionaire Barbie is in love.
DJ's are musical artists
Musicians can play football

Not buying any of it, but it all came together yesterday in Miami when Billionaire Barbie donned the bikini top for her new sort of flame make-out boyfriend, Afrojack, the DJ, during a game of football between DJ's, all of whom seem to come from Holland, for whatever reason, and I suppose have dexterous fingers, though you don't really see many NFL players coming out of the DJ camps.

I still don't exactly know what DJ's do, other than push buttons, which, for the record, most of us do throughout the day, but I guess most of us don't do it with our hands waving in the air shouting 'Yeah, part-ee up!' so that's some type of difference there. I guess Afrojack does it really well or something, and, thus, he wins first prize, which apparently is HSV the lower. Enjoy.

PARIS HILTON IS SHY ABOUT ATTENTION

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Paris Hilton Gets Into Stockings and Garters for Mom’s Mr. Chow’s Birthday Dinner

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2012 @ 10:45 am

Paris Hilton Stockings and Garters at Her Mom's Birthday in Beverly Hills

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Paris Topless Yachting

Got a Big Boat? Paris Will Get Topless for You. 5 Photos »

At my mom's last birthday, I wore my 'Beer Drinkers of America' t-shirt and she pointed out that I was under-dressed for the occasion, but then I pointed out that I had taken her to the Sizzler during early bird discount hours for her birthday and then she was forced to say, 'touche'. Mom knows some French.

Billionaire Barbie has goes a bit bigger for her mom's birthday, with a trip to Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills, and daughter getting all decked out in a revealing top and stockings and garters in a dress that has 'Bill Clinton Me' written all over it. I'm not exactly sure what it means when daughter goes 9 1/2 Weeks for mom's party, but in the Hilton family, I'm guessing it's actually completely normal.

What if we're all insane and the Hiltons are normal? Enjoy.

Jaime Pressly Bikini Pictures, Adrianne Curry Naughtiness, and Sara Jean Underwood Partying with Friends Headline This Week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

By Bill Swift | March 8, 2012 @ 9:50 am

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We are really digging hard on celebrity Twitpics these days; with the ever growing trend of super hotties doing half our work, and taking us deep into their private spaces. Not necessarily the private spaces for which we'd pay a kidney to visit, but private enough to get the cheap thrills that fill our life tanks.

This week's Celebrity Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Jaime Pressly showing off her hot bikini body, Adrianne Curry getting cheeky with her chest cheeks, Sara Jean Underwood posing with Candace Bailey in a sandwich we'd kill to be the meat in, Jennifer Love Hewitt flashing cleavetastic, and much much more. Check it out. And, enjoy.