Nicole Richie

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You know we have our telescopic spies stationed along the palm trees lining the Cabo resort. There’s no escaping our visual coverage, determined as we are to see some of our favorite celebrities getting down to their tiny two pieces south of the border.

Girls like Nicole Richie who only ever shows off when outside of the U.S. it seems, so we must follow, to catch sight of her petite body in her bikini. I mean, we really must, it’s our sacred duty. As always, a bit blurry when from a distance in the warm climes of Mexico, but certainly a solid peek at the fashion slash reality slash something or other star. Enjoy.

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I like to think of Nicole Richie as a blank canvas. A skinny blank canvas that I would paint with various shades of hamburger and french fries and chicken wings until she was back to normal size, when she does look rather fetching. I could make this happen, stuffing some Reuben sandwiches, maybe some Haagen Dazs chocolate spoonfuls into her mouth even as we make passionate, albeit careful not to damage her, sweet love upon her rented yacht. Give me six months and she’ll pack on 20 lbs. and likely another child.

But, for the time being, skinny Nicole was parked off the coast in Cannes, in a gold bikini which makes sense for that part of the world, delighting in water sports and generally taking a break from her rigorous life of working out, shopping, and her AOL reality TV series and the seventeen members of her viewing audience she must please weekly. I’m still leering at Nicole Richie, but step two definitely involves a trip to Carl’s Jr. where my guy Ricky will still make me one of those Cap ‘n Crunch milkshakes they abandoned last year when nutrition oriented groups said maybe it wasn’t so healthy to serve a drink with 8,000 calories packed into it. Enjoy.

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View the Gallery / 18 Photos »

Nicole Richie spent a holiday weekend in St. Bart’s with her bikini sister in arms, Jessica Alba, and Nicole put on quite the bikini show of her own. While the celebrity mommy is a bit to lean for our personal tastes, we couldn’t help but notice how free and flexible she is with her body, squats and bends and near nip slips. That’s a something something right there.

We usually only see Nicole Richie with her big hats and oversized sunglasses sneering about Hollywood. So seeing her in her big hat and oversized sunglasses with an almost smile in the Caribbean is something of a treat. We’re told she’s actually a very nice person. No way to know. We do know she keeps her MILFtastic body ready for all weather conditions, most notably sand and surf and showing off. Enjoy.