Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr Bares Tight Bare Midriff for Big Apple Pimping

I’m not sure what exactly Miranda Kerr was trying to promote in N.Y.C, I just kept staring at her stomach and wondering if reminding her that her ex-husband is now dating a French hottie would make her dig as deep as revenge sex with me. Truly, there’s no way she could hurt him worse unless he has a brother he no longer speaks to.

Now a more than eligible bachelorette, Miranda Kerr has the uncanny ability to make her sweet little knockers point toward magnetic North without so much as a hand adjustment. They are certainly the compass by which I measure my own happiness. Oh, to see how far up her tummy that tautness goes. I would endure many indignities to venture that particular path. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Wins the Golden Globes Boobtastic After-Party Awards

Talk about your golden globes, Sofia Vergara has them right here. Sofia easily could have been named the hottie d’jour on the red carpet of the 2014 Golden Globes last night. What she did at the after-party was simply make it a no doubter. Albeit, the lovely likes of Miranda Kerr, Taylor Swift, and a cleavetastic Vanessa Hudgens made a play for the gold medal, nobody was able to keep abreast, as it were, with Sofia and her low cut shiny gown.

At next year’s Golden Globes, I hope Sofia sits at my table. I mean, the table I’m assigned to pour water and refill wine glasses. I’m quite certain I would be pouring from her right, even as my left was wandering. Just so damn hot! Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr Covered Topless in Harper’s Bazaar Magazine January 2014

Miranda Kerr See-Through Lace Lingerie for Terry Richardson Shoot

Lucky bastard photographer Terry Richardson talked uber-sextastic and freshly single mom Miranda Kerr into wearing the see-through lace bra and some very tiny panties for her latest shoot with the photographer. I guess I can’t blame him for trying, nor for succeeding, in getting this incredibly hot Aussie to bare her nipples basically for his cameras.

One of my New Year’s resolutions will be to be less jealous of guys who get to hang around incredibly hot women half-nekkid in their studios. If only in part because I’m fortunate on occasion to delve into similar delights. Also, I want to be a better person next year, though, admittedly, that does sound like work and I’m not so big on work. Miranda, call me, I’ve got some magically see-through lingerie ready to go in my place too. You won’t even notice you’re wearing it. Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr Topless And In Charge for Harper’s

 
Miranda Kerr Topless in Harper's Bazaar Australia February 2014
Click to See Uncensored

What to do when you’re freshly single and have recently cut ties with your long time employer? Why, flash a full frontal topless photo of yourself in a major women’s magazine. That’s what I’d recommend at least. Blessedly, uber-sextastic Miranda Kerr took the suggestion for an unusually casual straight forward topless photo in a mini pictorial in her home country’s Harper’s Bazaar magazine discussing how Miranda is now completely in charge of her life.

I guess that’s true. And if her command decisions continue to be showing off her bare wares, I applaud her bold and thoughtful leadership. If she took off her bottoms, I’d vote for her for President or Prime Minister or my future ex-wife or what have you. Just so damn hot. Thank you, Miranda, you are a giving soul. Enjoy.

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Miranda Kerr Wears But Two Yarmulkes To Celebrate Hanukkah

As tomorrow represents the once a millennium or so coincidence of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving, I probably will be too high on tryptophan to get around to a celebration of our favorite Chosen Girls for the Jewish Holidays type post. However, in a surprising twist, the not even close to Hebraic Miranda Kerr decided to ring in the Festival of Lights be strapping together two kippahs over her funbags for a shoutout to the first night of the eight day temple oil miracle. It’s possible I’m reading into this photo just a bit.

The uber-sextastic Miranda did happen to flash shis Coco Chanel utterly tiny udder cover in i-D magazine as part of the journals digital relaunch. It’s definitely working. I can even feel the after-burners taking me toward the heavens. Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr Booty Extraordinaire For Jaguar Styling

I heard someone the other day talking about how Miranda Kerr was finished, done, kaput. Out of Victoria’s Secret, splitting up from Pirate boy, no longer relevant. Well, I boxed that medium to short-statured older woman square in the ear. What utter nonsense. Miranda Kerr will never be done. She’s only just getting started. She’s like a fine wine, in so much as the older she gets, the less likely I will be to find her joining me at my table at The Sizzler.

Just look at that fine body and booty on Miranda at the Jaguar pimping event out in Playa Vista. Talk about your sleek lines, high performance, and jaw-dropping handling. I’d like to handle her while my jaw dropped. Just ever so fine. Don’t make me cuff you again, old woman. Miranda Kerr isn’t going anywhere. Enjoy.