Okay, I will grant you, I’ve had a cocktail or three, which I have to imagine is specifically prohibited under my strict ‘make the bad demons go away’ pharmacological course of prescriptions, but, still, I’m seeing something funny in these otherwise sextastic photos of Hebrew School Hottie Mila Kunis in this month’s Harper’s Bazaar magazine.
Work with me here, it’s like she got shrunk, or compressed, or kiddified and she’s kind of smushed from her usual world class hot self to something unusually truncated in body. Seeing Mila like this at the amusement park like this, well, I haven’t felt these kinds of tingles since I watched the female members of the Lollipop Guild kick up their diminutive heels; please tell me I’m imagining this.
I’m prepared to stop drinking for an entire half-day if that’s what it takes to make Mila Kunis come back to normal. Help.
Oh, Mila Kunis, how do we lust thee? Let me count the ways by using the ancient method of nibbles across your… well, let’s just say we lust her a lot.
We haven’t see much of Mila in a while; the actress sort of took a break after last year’s big breakout on the scene and breakup with long time boyfriend, McCauley Culkin. While the kid from Home Alone looks frighteningly shady these days, Mila looks hotter than ever, seen candidly flashing all the various sexy sides of her hot-self in a snugly fitting dress during a Dior commercial photoshoot.
Honestly, I can’t imagine ever buying a Dior product, but I can imagining emptying the paltry contents of my bank account for just two seconds of two hands on those hottie lady humps. Oops, overshare. Enjoy.
The hottest girls of Californication. (Ranker)
Olivia Wilde looking hot. (HuffPo)
Amanda Seyfried goes 70′s porn star. (Celebuzz)
Damn it, Drew Barrymore. (FoxNews)
Willow Palin busts her headlights. (TMZ)
Marilyn Monroe oldie but goodies. (BuzzFeed)
Mila Kunis dior photoshoot. (GossipCenter)
Kristen Wiig lingerie shoot for GQ. (FoxNews)
Mila Kunis is one of America’s most valuable assets. (HuffPo)
Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio hit Harold Square. (GossipCenter)
Kendall Jenner and other celebrity cheerleaders. (Celebuzz)
Anna Torv flirts her way into giving a ticket. (CollegeHumor)
Model, Valeria Sokolova, rolling around in a bikini. (TheChive)
The hottest YouTube celebrities. (Ranker)
Gwyneth Paltrow cleavy award show dress. (GossipCenter)
LeAnn Rimes in a see-through top. (HuffPo)
The Olsens vs. the Middletons. (FoxNews)
Mila Kunis sexiest red carpet appearances. (Celebuzz)
Taylor Swift classes it up for the CMA’s. (LaineyGossip)
Sasha Grey has a lot of wisdom to share with these kids. (TMZ)
Melanie Iglesias gets in a bikini for the troops. (Popoholic)
Alessandra Ambrosio bikini awesomeness. (GossipCenter)
Lindsay Lohan and other celebs sex it up for Halloween. (SocialiteLife)
Kristin Cavallari doing the “booty tooch.” (TheFrisky)
Katie Holmes is a slutty, slutty pumpkin. (HuffPo)
Damn it, Brenda Song. (FoxNews)
Cindy Crawford and the hottest chicks from commercials. (Ranker)
Let’s look down Mila Kunis top. (TheChive)
Okay, so these are likely not brand new photos of legendary young hottie Mila Kunis, the mags they do cover their carbonic footprints with recycling, but in our continued celebration of the Jewish New Year, what better way to drop your drawers and do a little private-time hora dance than to the site of the amazing Mila in this month’s FHM South Africa.
In the past year, Mila has risen from underrated hottie to superstar hottie, starting with Black Swan where she got all lesbionic naughty with fellow shofar blower, Natalie Portman, to even her less interesting, but equally hot Justin Timberlake rom-com craptasticness. 5771 was a big year for Mila. Enjoy.
FHM, Mila Kunis