You're an important person. You've got important shizz to get done during your day. You don't have time to follow all this low-rent, cheeseball celebrity gossip. Thankfully, in between bouts of binge drinking YooHoo Chocolate Soda, I've got the time to do it for you.
Leading to Michaele Salahi, the bleached-and-blown-out attention ho' who broke into the White House party a couple years ago with her polo playing husband because, well, because it got her attention she craved, which got her onto reality television as a Real Housewives of Washington DC, which got her even more attention, and, eventually, like the beast that feeds on hate and anti-matter, she grew stronger from her 15-minutes of fame to the point that she dumped her long time dufus husband so she could bump uglies with Journey veteran lead guitarist, Neal Schon. And, who didn't see that coming? All of which leads me to the conclusion that, it may take a month, it may take twenty years, but eventually Botox and hair bleach will rot your brain. Kids, just say 'no'. Enjoy.
Photo credit: Splash News