It’s finally here. Not sure you’ve been waiting for it, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles opens Friday among what is now a completely died down controversy over everything. All that is left to do is bring out the hotties for the Hollywood Premiere, as they did last night including movie starlet Megan Fox looking rather MILFtastic fine, Bella Thorne who were leather shorts quite certain to be noticed, newcomer Ginny Gardner who is nineteen and ready to explode in Tinsel Town, and Jordana Brewster who could be my fake prom date to the prom set up in my basement any day. I would be a lucky man.
I’ll say this for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It may only be the 1287th best idea for a comic book turned movie, but those turtles do manage to get the hot girls to come out for the evening. Just like your idiotic classmate in college who had the same inexplicable powers, you called him friend. Enjoy.
Megan Fox could sell me anything. Even on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. While I have a feeling it’s going to insult my childhood something fierce, how I can I really skip any movie with the delicious brunette sextastic Megan Fox running around in tight sweaters. I’d watching her cleaning stables dressed like that.
Megan Fox was the star of the red carpet for the TMNT premiere in Mexico City, where she showed off her svelt figure and perfectly toned legs and make everybody stop carrying about the turtles origin stories and similar fan boy divisions. It was just about imagining April O’Neil diligently reporting on the feelings of passions running up and down your nervous system. The tingles have spoken. I will see you opening day, Megan. Sucker am I. Enjoy.
I don’t quite understand why the nerd boy armies want to speak to the actors in certain geek world movie fare, as opposed to the producers, creators, artists, and writers and such of the actual content. Though I do readily understand why more people will show up to see Megan Fox in a short dress than a balding pale writer discussing the origins of April O’Neil as a symbol of the fourth estate.
Megan has been making far less public appearances these days being a MILFy mommy and all, but when she does, she still holds the bright torch of the sextastic as always, leaving all of her other red carpet followers in her wake. Oh, that I could be in Megan Fox’s wake. I’d breath the air in slowly. TMI on TMNT? Perhaps, but Megan Fox is absolutely positively the best hook for selling that fighting turtles flick. I’d rename it the Megan Fox in Tight Tops Movie but fast. Enjoy.
I have no idea if we’re supposed to believe there’s such a thing as the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards. I can’t even fathom what that would entail. But most importantly, Megan Fox believed they were real and showed up looking all kinds of sextastic, if not a bit demure, for the red carpet of the show.
We don’t get to see Megan Fox much these days, certainly outside of her mommy sweats and such, so this trumped up awards show was a blessing without a disguise. We’ve really missed Megan and her legs and all over brunette allure. Hopefully she’ll come back to us in more made up events, like the pretend film I’m shooting called Megan Fox Gets Hella Nekkid. You don’t need to know the story, you’ve already bought your tickets. Enjoy.
I’ll probably get lots of candy, maybe bring my Kindle, but I’m definitely locked in on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie, or, more precisely, Megan Fox and her still righteous body that I have coveted like a desert wanderer thirsts for water.
Yes, I know it’s just Megan Fox in jeans, but I’m guessing those jeans come off at some point. Maybe not in this silly movie, but in my dreams, I assure you. Like they were greased. Enjoy.
A few years ago, Brian Austin Green was just “that guy who used to play that guy on 90210” and nothing more. Then he married one of the hottest women on earth, and suddenly he was “that unbelievably lucky bastard who used to play that guy on 90210 who is now married to Megan Fox.”
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One little Instagram hashtag caused an awful lot of commotion of the weekend.
You see, apparently someone at Paramount Pictures posted a pic of a Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 Coupe on the company’s official Instragram account, claiming it was “yet another surprise from Transformers 4,” which really isn’t all that interesting. What was interesting was, though, were the hashtags associated with the pic: #Transformers, #MichaelBay, and last but not least, #MeganFox.
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