Maria Menounos

Reese Witherspoon, Maria Menounos, and Brandi Glanville Take Early Lead for Ogle-Worthy on the 2013 Academy Awards Red Carpet

Ah, finally, the 2013 Academy Awards, a.k.a., The Oscars, are finally upon us. The ceremonial end to the six week long bout of Hollywood auto-fellatio that encompasses about 30-40 events of celebrities patting celebrities on the back for being such wonderful citizens of the world. But, make no mistake about it, this is the big one, mostly because every single hot woman in Hollywood will either be at The Oscars today or attending one of the many swank after-parties. This is the single biggest day of the year in Tinsel Town.

Now, then, on to the sextastic on the Oscar Red Carpet....

We'll be updating this post through the evening, but so far, we've got MILFtastic Reese Witherspoon leading our list of 'damn!' on the Red Carpet, Brandi Glanville deserving the Attention Getter award for being a reality show housewife who somehow got an Oscar invite and made the boobtastic most of it, and Maria Menounous for simply being ridiculously hot everywhere she goes...

(This gallery will update further as more arrivals, well, arrive)

Mila Kunis, Maria Menounos, and Rachel Weisz Drop Some Red Heat on the Yellow Brick Road of Oz Premiere

While early review of Oz: The Great and Powerful, a bit more gentle breeze than epic tornado, we turn our eyes toward what we care most about, a movie premiere that brings out the hotties, as many did last night the Hollywood debut of Oz.

While the girls were told to wear old-school frocks to keep with the theme of the film, that did not prevent co-starlets Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz from delivering some eye catching bit of decked-outness on the kitschy Yellow Brick Road carpet last night. Throw in Maria Menounos who just shows up to Hollywood events to remind everybody how sextastic she is, and suddenly, we had a potential stinker of a film turn into an evening of must-see visuals. Hot girls make everything better. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Booty in Tight Leather Pants (Am I In Heaven?)

There are so many things I'd like to see the butt of Maria Menounos in, my outstretch hands probably being right at the top of that least. But today we will gladly settle, if we must call it that, for our smoking sextastic Grecian princesses' pooter in clingy tight leather pants, exhibiting the can of a woman I would like to carry back up Mt. Olympus, and before passing out from exertion, exert my last ounce of energy making her feel like a woman, while promising not to tell any of my buddies, natch.

Oh, there's also a peek down her top on the set of Extra, because, why not have a little icing on our Menounos asstastic cake today. Enjoy.

I’m Pretty Sure I Can See Maria Menounos Nipples Through Her Tight Dress

Oh, Maria Menounous, you'd look good in baggy wool pajamas, but I'm so damn glad you chose a skin tight form fitting dress to appear on Extra, to capture your perfect body, and give us a glimpse at the bra-clad outline of the headlights we'd like to use to guide us toward a heavenly intercourse (an exchanging of ideas through conversation I mean, oh, and also a serious butt slapping sweaty boot knocking).

Maria Menounos leaves little to the imagination, but ends up stirring it nonetheless. Such is the power of the Grecian goddess. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos, Morena Baccarin, and Nina Dobrev Lead List of Hotties at the 2013 SAG Awards

Okay, time to get serious with Award Season. That annual time of year when Hollywood comes together for a self-congratulatory circle jerk of mirrored affection. Not sure how many other industries pack ten to fifteen major 'give yourself a pat on the back' ceremonies in the course of six weeks time, but when you're a celebrity, how can you be loved if you first don't love yourself?

Not that we're complaining, not when the super hotties make a strong showing at last night's SAG Awards, the thespian-on-thespian accolades that is considered one of the highest honors from within. So we give out our honors, to the ladies that looked the most ridiculously hot on the red carpet, and there were several, including Maria Menounos (who really isn't an actress, but who gives a damn), Morena Baccarin who has come to control the very blood flow in our appendages, Nina Dobrev, stellar brunette, Amanada Seyfried, Nordic girl of many Asgard naughty dreams, Jennifer Lawrence, a stage stealing voluptuous young beauty, Sofia Vergara, who ever delivers veteran caliente to the red carpet, Julianne Moore, who continues to be the veteran ginger we'd most like to discipline us, Lea Michele, who can be hit or miss, but was super hit last night. and Michelle Dockery, of Downton Abbey renown, flashing serious sideboob. All of these ladies and more all decked out in expensive triumph for your viewing pleasure.

And, oh yeah, some awards were given out and people thanked Aunt Myrtle and their agents, and then a few actors cried. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Yoga Moves Give Us An Embarrassing Upward Facing Dog

Hey, is it my fault that almost all yoga pose names sound somewhat dirty?

And dirty yoga can be, at least in the eyes of the pervy beholder, when leering at Maria Menounos and her Grecian asstastic performing stretchy, bendy, asstastic yoga moves on the set of Extra, even in the currently chilled climates of Los Angeles. We feel nothing but warmth for Maria as she arches her 'body part we'd most like to see arched' in a literal ode to why women are the superior gender; we men will never create anything quite so glorious or powerful as the prone buttside of Maria Menounos. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Bikini Pictures Are Fit, Fitness, and Faptastic

Wow, ice-pack alert! Our highly belusted Grecian goddess Maria Menounos drips with sextastic in her new bikini picture spread in Men's Fitness magazine. It has us wishing we had spent the last five years working out instead of just drinking and couch surfing so that we could hang by the beach with Maria and trade ab-compliments. Thankfully, ogles go only one direction in our current leering lust fest with Maria and that wicked tempting devil-may-care body of hers. We want to cover Maria in baby oil with some kind of gusto.

And, lest you think even goddesses are granted hot bodies without sweat, check out Maria over the weekend in blessed stretch pants on her way to the gym. That rump! That toe! It's really almost too much, as if that was ever enough. Enjoy.