Maria Menounos

Sofia Vergara, Maria Menounos, Heidi Klum Among Hotties Worth Seeing at the 2013 Emmy Awards

Well, if I'm being honest, the Emmy Awards were pretty damn boring My expectations where low, they were met. But like all major award shows, they do bring out some of the finest women on the planet trying to look their finest, and that can never be wrong.

The 2013 Emmy Awards were highlighted by the good looking likes of Sofia Vergara, who steals every red carpet she ever attends, Maria Menounos, a Grecian TV goddess, Heidi Klum, Julie Bowen, Malin Akerman, and several other noteworthy sextastic stars of the small screen. I give the show a C minus, I give these ladies my phone number. Please, call me. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Tight Skirt, Tight Top, Grecian Goddess Asstastic

I could ramble on and on about just how hot Maria Menounos is. And I think I shall.

Our belusted Grecian goddess looks finer on her daily job than just about anybody I can recall. Routinely like today in tight form fitting bottoms, low cut tops, and other outfits that highlight her sextastic female form. The same female body I'd like to sail around the world with, in an eight-foot dinghy, no motor, not even paddles really, just letting the four winds drift us through the seven seas as the echoed grunts and moans of our passions cause sea-going birds to alter their migration patterns. Not that I've been thinking about this much.

Oh, Maria, you have the shape of an hourglass that I would love to spend two to three minutes turning over. Please, never ever start wearing baggy clothes. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Takes a Sweaty Kick-Ass Turn as a WWE Diva!

Talk about a wonderful harbinger of hotness. Our lady of the sextastic, Grecian goddess Maria Menounos, took a turn yesterday as a WWE Diva in a Summer Slam promotion that saw her cleavetastic halo grappling, lunging, and choking out various female wrestling opponents. I felt a little loss of oxygen my ownself leering at this truly extraordinary and completely unexpected sight. Not since the merging of chocolate and peanut butter have I felt such a rush of synergistic tingle.

I have absolutely no idea the forces that made this stellar visual possible, but whoever was in charge, I want to hug them. Unless it's a big sweaty dude, in which case I'll just do my usual of casually slipping a twenty-spot and asking for a center stage seat to check out Savannah. Oh, not even as good today as Maria flashing her toned tummy betwixt the turnbuckles. How badly do I want her to kick my ass? Oh, quite badly. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Cleavetastic in Orange and Impossible Not to Peek

I'm hardly going to blame Howie Mandel for looking down the top of Maria Menounos live on the set of Extra. Therefore but the grace of God go I, or something along those lines to imply that I would be doing the same myself if I were astride the Grecian Goddess in a low cut dress baring parts of her fabulous wares.

For many years now I've been inspired to chisel a statue to this ridiculously good looking woman. At some point, passion will surpass my instinctive predilection toward being super lazy and I will arrange for a hunk of Carrara marble to shipped to my humble abode so I can begin sculpting. I will start with the chest, for complete inspiration. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Cradles An Egg Just Like Our Future Baby Together

A man can dream, can he not? And my dreams tend to center around object d' lust and Grecian goddess Maria Menounos, who is just about the hottest playful kitten on this planet.

I'm not exactly sure why Maria was carrying an egg on a spoon in her mouth on the set of Extra, but I sure would like to talk to her about it as we unwind from our day in our jacuzzi hot tub with champagne and little oysters that I honestly can't stand but would still consume in advancement of my amorous cause. Something like that. Maria Menounos smiling in her little short dresses always gets me to thinking. Truly, an inspirational woman. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Bikini Pictures Fly Her Flags of Hotness

Ave, Maria. Our belusted Grecian princess Maria Menounos is not only flashing her bikini body excellence in her native lands this week, now she's flying the national colors, a patriotic tribute to the land of her ancestors, and a true bit of visual wonderment for gentleman oglers around the world.

Maria Menounos not only wears her bikinis well, she knows damn well how to move and pose and preen when she's in them. She's a master you might say of the fine art of bikini attention getting. We're not going to let her down on our end. Just so incredibly sweet. Enjoy.

Maria Menounos Bikini Pictures Deliver the Grecian Goddess Back to Greece

Oh, Maria Menounos bikini pictures are blessedly back, as the Extra TV hostess and holder of so many of our faptastic dreams made her way back to the motherland, Greece, to show the goddesses on Mt. Olympus just how it's done.

Nobody quite seems to delight in beach time play time as much as Maria Menounos. Not only does she fit her bikinis perfectly, her exuberant play almost always causes her body to slip or peek out of her two pieces at some juncture. This closely parallels the feeling we get when we see Maria in a skimpy bikini. Exuberant and slipping accidentally out of our bottoms. Maria knows how to press the 'Imagine Now' button on the gentleman ogler. And she presses it with authority. Enjoy.

Check Out the Maria Bikini Fun Time Video »