Kylie Jenner isn’t fooling anybody with her Stephen Hawkings lecture notes. Nope. As wildly intelligent as this youngest Kardashian appears, she’s really making the grade with her rather noteworthy teen body and the manner in which she reveals it. Even on a simple trip to get your nails done. Kylie Jenner is really hard not to ogle.
I’ll have to check with Business Practices again for precisely what I’m allowed to say about this innocent waif of a girl. But suffice it to say, had Kylie gone to school, she would not have suffered from lack of date offers or prom invites. In fact, I’m prepared to stage a fake prom that caters to the unschooled just to get her out for an evening in a pouffy dress and some Ryan Adams music. Something about that tight skirt on that booty and that tight tank top barely covering her… wait, the Business Practices email just arrived. And just in time. Wow, this is perhaps the most difficult part of my job. This and limiting myself to three spelling mistakes per paragraph. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
I must admit. This one is beyond me, but I just had to share.
Love Magazine is releasing a rather elaborate photo spread of Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, and Kim Kardashian where they are shot to look like something out of strange pulp sci-fi noir novels or something along those lines. Included are Kendall Jenner with digitally smooshed ta-ta’s blown up and covered in digital pasties along with Kim Kardashian nekkid save for some post-production marks and Kylie Jenner blonde anime looking. The three of them for some reason hyper-stylized into something rather less than normal appeal. Why? I do not know. Art, I guess. Hence, my disagreement with art as a legit subject matter. I’m all for the experimentation of the creative mind in visual form, but if you’ve got Kendall Jenner willing to flash her boobtastic and Kim exposing her bare behind, isn’t that the time for some photo realism? I’m a simple cad, I know. But I’m also right, am I not? Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
It’s time. This is always our main social candid event of the week. The time when we bring out the big guns of the boobtastic self-published variety. When Tinsel Town ego meets Egotastic in one divine summarial roundup of the social media candids. It is hardly wavering, it is epically growing, I could not be a more pleased man. Flip through these photos and follow me into deep passion. I mean don’t follow me directly, wait like an hour please.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Kylie Jenner showing off her teenaged tubes, Olivia Munn cleavetastic with puppies, Tara Reid covering her barest of essentuals, Selena Gomez cleavage, Kendall Jenner in a bikini, and much much more. You owe it to the ghosts of the Chuck E. Cheese Inedible Pizza Bowl to check out each and every one of these wicked hot and revealing celebrity shared candids. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Twitter/Instagram
Welcome to the New Year. I’m not going to pretend that any of us are as excited to be here as Kylie Jenner who’s made up everything took to Instagram to ring in the New Year. As you know, I’ve predicted a monumental year for the youngest Kardashian daughter, something that will come to shock and awe us all. And she won’t be the only one. 2015 is going to be the biggest year in celebrity hotness yet. I can feel it in my bones. Also, I believe the Farmer’s Almanac and Nostradamus both predicted so.
If a teen reality star and her new nipple ring aren’t a solid omen of good things to come, I’m not sure what is. Two little birds on the doorstep is nice and all, but they might just be rabid. I’ll take the Jenner in the tight top. Welcome to 2015. Strap on your safety belts and lay down the plastic sheets. This is going to be good. Enjoy.
Photo credit: Instagram
Kylie Jenner shops for groceries just like the rest of us. Well, not exactly like the rest of us. For one, it’s for show. For two, the show includes some bare midriff on the coldest recorded day in Los Angeles since they started keeping records, which I think was like 2008 or something. I’m not sure. Either way, it’s nice to see Kylie following in the showy footsteps of her older sisters, even on a frigid day.
This may be just about the least amount of skin we’ve ever shown on Egotastic, but it’s a nice end of the year salute to a celebrity we expect to see much more of in 2015. Especially as she turns barely legal. I’m not one for bold predictions on the future, but I’ll go ahead and say we see Kylie’s funbags by this time next year. There, now you have a reason to make that New Year’s resolution to get fit. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/FameFlynet
Oh, what a post holiday week for the self publishing of sextastic celebrity selfies and friend shot candids. Whatever time these lovely ladies aren’t spending on Christmas shopping personally, they are making up for with bikini shots, down tops, cleavy goodness, and asstastic show off pieces that are absolutely so much better than sweaters and new socks. Though I do love sucks, I don’t necessarily want to spent a weekend locked in a remote mountainous cabin with them playing survival through body friction.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Bella Thorne in bikini and cleavy top, Jen Selter flashing her world class mighty thumper, Kylie Jenner sharing her chesty gifts, Emily Ratajkowski topless from behind, Arianny Celeste wicked hot and down her top, Sarah Hyland bikini goodness, and so much much more. You owe it to the ghost of Christmas fruitcakes past to personal ogle each and every one of these smoking hot social media candids. Santa’s still making his list. You’d better check these twice. Enjoy.
There is no job too small for a Kardashian, just small boobs. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Kim Kardashian was on hand and flashing her ample healthy wholesome cleavage deep and wide for her little sister’s pimping of the fake hair efforts in Beverly Hills. Just seventeen yet, and such an innocent young lass, we probably shouldn’t comment on Kylie Jenner and her rather bosomy showoff outfit designed to sell more faux blue hair to girls who want to look like 80′s drunk female rock stars I suppose. What do I know of fashion and style? If it’s not at Target, it’s all haute couture to me.
It’s nice to see the family working together for the common good of making even more money. The hawking of product is the communal moment for Kardashian girls to ignore their spats and differences and work together for the family business. It’s kind of Americana beautiful. I’m referring mostly to the funbags now. Enjoy.