Kristen Stewart

Liberty Ross Topless Hotness Defeated by Kristen Stewart’s Very Angry Vagina

By Bill Swift | July 26, 2012 @ 1:48 am

Okay, let me be the first to say, even in my wildest 'I married a supermodel' fantasies, I'm grounded enough to know that after the honeymoon of seeing my own sweaty slobby self in the mirror knocking the stuffing out of a real life world class hottie, well, there's a solid chance there's going to be a lifetime of painful model-wife times dead ahead. Not saying the old song about marrying an ugly girl and being blindly blissful sounds all that great, but finding yourself til-death-do-you-part with a woman who's been spoiled rotten her whole life to look hot and stare blankly into space, I can see that coming back to haunt you, and those sweaty times in the mirror becoming further and further apart.

None of this is to excuse the cad-like behavior of Rupert Sanders, the director of Snow White and The Huntsman and the married diver in the Kristen Stewart muff diving in flagrante. But who knows the true power of K-Stew's very angry vagina; it holds sway over men like nobody's business. It seems to be powerful enough to turn Robert Pattinson straight; that's some might sorcery there.

All I'm saying is, just because you're married to a super hot chick like Liberty Ross doesn't mean you have the power to resist beaver bombing your favorite starlet if she's stems akimbo in the front seat of your automobile and whimpering like a cat on a hot tin roof. The rules of nature always trump the rules of man.

Kristen Stewart Apologizes For Banging Her Director Behind Robert Pattinson’s Back

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2012 @ 12:53 pm

(Photo credit: Us Magazine)

What is this world coming too?

When you can't even trust angry emo lady thespianics to be faithful to you while away filming for a couple months. Poor sod Robert Pattinson had to be cuckolded via various Internet outlets as news breaks that his very serious love o' life girlfriend Kristen Stewart now admits to boot knocking secretly with the married director dude from Snow White and The Huntsman.

"This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

- Kristen Stewart

For the entire breaking shoddy tale of Kristen's sexual indiscretions, check out TMZ.com

Kristen Stewart Topless in ‘On The Road’ (A Better Second Look)

By Bill Swift | July 24, 2012 @ 2:13 am

Click to see Uncensored

Kristen Stewart Topless Stills From ‘On The Road’

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(Thanks to EgoReader 'John J.' for a clearer look at the finally exposed boobtastic of gruff and grim but ever hot thespianic, Kristen Stewart in On the Road. An upgrade to our previous posting.)

While Kristen has made promises of skin-showing in her past films, she never really came through until this fine piece of cinematic skinematic work, flashing her double twilights bare and beautiful in a scene where she uses both her hands much to the delight of the men seated in the car to her either side.

It's kind of like a dream come true, except for the second dude, he's got to go. Enjoy.

KRISTEN GOT FLASHY IN 'MEET THE RILEYS' BUT NEVER NEKKID AS PROMISED

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Sara Jean Underwood and Mila Kunis Highlight the Hotness at the Opening of Comic-Con 2012

By Bill Swift | July 13, 2012 @ 11:26 am

Sara Jean Underwood Dresses up for Comic Con

Kristin Kreuk at Beauty & The Beast Panel at Comic Con

Maggi Q in a Skin Tight Dress at Comic Con

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Well, the faptastic fantastic fanfest known as Comic-Con is well underway in San Diego, and all we can think is that if priest-explorer Father Junipero Serra had encountered this stanky swarm of geeks on his trek up from Mexico and along the coast, well, we'd probably have fewer Spanish style missions today in California and far more Pizza Huts.

Nevertheless, with super geeks comes super fanboy money, and with that comes Hollywood sending its best and brightest, err, best and hottest down to San Diego to pimp the shizz out of their latest projects.

Today's sextastics in attendance at the convention included our fave Sara Jean Underwood in cosplay gear, Lyndsy Fonseca sweet goodness, the hot Mila Kunis pimping Oz, the Asian delight Maggie Q, and Kristin Kreuk and Kristen Stewart in a battle of chicks who almost spell their name the same. Quite a way to jumpstar the convention.

P.S. Don't touch anything with your bare hands at the convention. Trust me.

SARA JEAN UNDERWOOD COSPLAY HOTNESS CAN NOT BE STOPPED

Sara Jean Underwood in Costume at the G4 Studios

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Let the Comic-Con Games Begin! And Let’s Start with Kristen Stewart and Her Pushed Up Boobtastic!

By Bill Swift | July 12, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

Kristen Stewart Bares Midriff and Legs at Comic-Con in San Diego

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As you know, each year, about 100,000 nerd type individuals reeking of a combination of Almond Joy bars and and sexual desperation descend upon the San Diego downtown area for the annual pilgrimage of virgins known as Comic-Con. While the mighty convention used to be strictly comic fanboy, it's now grown into a massive Hollywood excursion southward to pimp the shizz out of anything that in any way is the least bit connected to the comic or fantasy action content world. And, yeah, the smell is tremendous.

But, the upside is the bevy of Hollywood starlets now pressed into services before the geek masses, with the flood gates of hotness parting this very day with Kristen Stewart repping Twilight in a surprisingly sexy outfit for her own bad emo downtordden self. She looked remarkably bosomy and up and bare-midriff and actually excited. Must be the unlimited Diet Dr. Peppers available at the convention center. Or, Ben Wa balls. One or the other.

LAST YEAR'S COMIC-CON ROUNDUP INCLUDED A HORDE OF HOLLYWOOD HOTTIES

Ashley Greene, Kate Beckinsale and Nina Dobrev at Comic-Con

49 Photos »

Kristen Stewart Topless and Two-Fisting Handy in ‘On The Road’

By Bill Swift | June 21, 2012 @ 11:51 pm

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Kristen Stewart Topless in 'On The Road'

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Let me say this first, Kristen Stewart is a very serious actress and artist who works daily to perfect her craft and enhance the level of her performance, and to take a few topless stills of her from her latest movie, On The Road and act is if it's some representation of her overall merit or work as a thespian is incredibly rude.

Let me also say, we here at Egotastic! have a penchant for being rude!

Okay, so, it is blurry and brief and hardly complete, but it is really one of the few rare moments when a promised Kristen Stewart 'skinematic' moment turns out to be true. And, to boot, if you WATCH THE FILM CLIP (*viewer warning, adult site), you will see that she is most definitely putting her heart and soul into the performance of a double handy for her two male auto-companions. Oh, perhaps just a bit of movie stage craft, but enough to fuel your Kristen Stewart fantasies for some time to come. As it were. Enjoy.

KRISTEN STEWART PROMISED NEKKINDNESS IN 'MEET THE RILEYS', BUT, NO

4 Photos »

Charlize Theron Hotness and Ciara Cleavage Among the Few Reasons to Watch MTV Movie Awards

By Bill Swift | June 4, 2012 @ 8:20 am

Ciara Shows Her Goodies in a Short Red Dress at the MTV Movies Awards

Shailene Woodley in a Black Deep V Neck Outfit at the MTV Movies Awards

Charlize Theron Steps Out in a Red Hot Dress at the MTV Movies Awards

Emma Watson in Mini Tight Purple Dress at the MTV Movies Awards

Jenna Dewan in a Plunging Neckline Top at the MTV Movies Awards

Kristen Stewart Shows Legs at the MTV Movies Awards

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Sour grapes from us being banned from the MTV Movie Awards this year? Eh, maybe. But that show, that network, has really sunk to the bottom of the bowl like a turd trying to be first in line to hit the expressway home to the sewer line, which leads to a bunch of rehabbing inane drunkards checking into the Jersey Shore house for the sixth time on the East Coast while a bunch of mostly no-named, faceless rubes were paraded down the MTV red carpet last night and we were told they were fun and interesting and exciting people. Yeah, not so much.

However, MTV being owned by a much larger parent corporation, and still being a churning marketing machine to a teen audience of future postal workers, the studios did gear up some of their A-listers currently in theaters to pimp their wares at the award show, which led to the tremendous silver lining of the hotness likes of Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson and Jenna Dewan and Shailene Woodley and Victoria Justice and Ciara (who we did mostly include because of her sweet boobtastic show). And while the smiles were fake and the words polished, the hot bodies were still very much worth ogling. Enjoy.