Krista Allen

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Dear Santa,

Can you please send Krista Allen down my chimney? Oh, how I've forsaken this super object d' lust (even if slightly Clooney defiled) over the years and how I want to make it up to her with a gift of wine, or flowers, or perhaps an all over massage of her bodacious body using nothing but my tongue and melted Toblerones stolen from the minibar of the sucker in the hotel room next to us while the maid cleans his room. I'd sure like to spread the Christmas spirit deep inside of Krista Allen. Thanks in advance, big guy.