Okay, this is not the time to rip the Kardashians, the rare time, for we finally see them in all their glory, or, let’s say, what they’re good at. Which is looking good in bikinis, even Kourtney, god bless her, pregnant by her idiotic boyfriend once more, holding her own hotness in a bikini, as all the K’s, minus Khloe (excluded for reasons I can only cite as related to national security), took their family vacation down in the Dominican Republic at the end of last month.
And, well, let’s give some credit where it’s due. When they’re not talking or selling or arranging sham marriages for money, they are nice to look at.
For a fuller set of Kardashian family bikini pictures, check out our friends at Celebuzz
If you knew how much money The Kardashians command for their staged bikini vacation photosets, well, you’d drop a load right in your shorts, quickly clean up, and go hit some kind of Occupy Calabasas movement outside the Kardashian compound. But, today, the Kardashian girls done got caught candidly in their bikinis by way of telescopic lens without earning a cent. Don’t think Kris Jenner didn’t call an emergency strategy session with her top lieutenants to figure out this breach of possible money making opportunities.
But, the upshot for us, long distance candids of Kim Kardashian and her mega asstastic, a preggo Kourtney Kardashian, and some bikini shots of the NextGen Jenners, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner, all shot from a treeline in the Dominican Republic somehow missed by the Kardashian advanced security team. And we could not be more pleased. Enjoy.
Come on now, this is just getting out of hand. I’m willing to accept the fact that some women out there go to Sears to buy their lingerie and swimsuits. Just because it’s where I buy the tools I never use but make me feel manly, and it’s where my buddy Stephano buys the lawn seed for the grass he illegally maintains for the woman he’s been stalking now for eight months, that doesn’t mean it’s not a great store for purchasing female intimate clothing.
And I’m also willing to accept the fact that some ladies out there see the Kardashian sisters as role models, heck, 60% of people in this country believe in ghosts, and 40% think a Big Mac with a diet coke makes you skinny, there’s no accounting for certain beliefs.
But what I simply do not believe, no way, no how, is that the Kardashian girls have 26-inch waists.
I’m surprised the air-brushers in the ad office didnt’ run out of air when fixing up these three money-making merchandising machines.
It’s not that the Kardashian sisters, the elder sisters I mean, and not all of them exactly or precisely, but the two that you can’t hear coming toward you from twenty clicks away, not that they aren’t kind of hot.
In fact, if you could afford them, you’d be the unmarried dad of their bastard kids or cuckolded purse carrying show piece husband likely as well. But the fact is, c’mon, now, Sears, the place where I do buy all my power tools and intimate lingerie items, let’s be real about this air-brushing thing.
If the girls can’t be slim and trim naturally through their amphetamine riddled diet powder brand, then drop the air-brushers back in the ad graphics department, or at least put them on some restrictions because this toning and shaping by way of Photoshop business is just kind of silly. Enjoy.
Well, if it wasn’t considered one of the more sensational Academy Award parties before, then certainly the annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Viewing Party is now officially on the Egotastic! map, thanks to supermodels Heidi Klum and Bar Refaeli getting a bit frisky with each other at the party. In fact, the newly single Heidi Klum looked to be having herself one heck of a good time, though mostly with the other ladies, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Throw in an ever hot Brooklyn Decker, all grow’d up Winnie Cooper, Danica McKellar, blue-haired newly divorced Katy Perry, a pregnant hot Alessandra Ambrosio, and, yes, even Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian, and, well, you have an Elton John party just packed with major league boobtastic. Enjoy.
It was big news across the IQ scale today where people care about the intimate details of Kourtney Kardashian and her life of insipid snippets of shopping and love life obstacles. It’s a girl baby for the littlest Kardashian she-bot. Which means decades more of femme-pimping by Kris Jenner. Expect soiled diapers to be on sale on Craigslist in about six months.
For those interested in baby and mama, check out the full Kourtney Kardashian reveals she’s having a girl on Celebuzz.