Kim Kardashian is desperately trying to fit back into some of her professional working girl garb, as news of her delayed engagement to freaky rapper Kanye West made gossip circles the past month; meanwhile, sister Kourtney Kardashian has been talking about having a third illegitimate child with her foppish boyfriend in exercise of populating the planet with even more Kardashian eggs, like the mother extraterrestrial in Alien.
The two pimping sisters hit the blacktop for a little jog and waddle to shed the extra pounds holding them back from merchandising perfection and optimal earnings potential. Meanwhile, the cameras for the Kardashian reality show, Kim and Kourtney Fake It for Money, rolled on as life’s little obstacles continue to be convertible to cash for these girls and their four million literacy-challenged fans. Enjoy.
It’s tough being a Kardashian. The monthly nut you have to kick-up to Kris Jenner is pretty hefty. That and the whole world thinks you’re a money-grubbing piece of meat. Despite being true, it’s still a tough rep.
So don’t think that after baby number two by way of her unmarried former snowboarder foppish boyfriend, Kourtney Kardashian isn’t thinking it’s time to get back on the street and start earning, which she did, flashing some new mama (again) leg for the cameras outside her Miami establishment.
Now, it wasn’t super skin, but enough so that Kourtney won’t be finding a Khloe head in her bed this month as a warning. Enjoy.
Honestly, if faced with a hot poker rammed up the urethra vs. sitting and watching Kim and Kourtney Take Miami, I’m flipping a coin to make that close call. The Kardashians are like that pervasive smell in the neighborhood after a frightened skunk has jettisoned its musk and the aroma pervades every sense, omnipresent, filling your pores from all directions and just making you reflexively shudder and want to move on past. Well, like that stank plus $60 million in cash annually.
Yet, through the putridity of the Kardashian mafia every now and then appears a beacon of exhibitionist fun, such as today when Kourtney Kardashian had a wind gust (or was it Kris conjuring up her demon spirit winds) lift up her skirt on a balcony in Miami, revealing her thong and bare-arse cheeks for all the onlookers in the South Beach area.
Now, some of you find Kourtney to be the best looking Kardashian, and perhaps the least annoying, if one were forced to rank the various sub-demons and fallen angels by rankness. So, for all of you, have a gander up Kourtney’s skirt and have a breath of fresh air. Enjoy.
Well, we finally got our grubby little hands (literally, we just had chicken wings in the office employing our dwarfish sized paws to rip apart those baby bird joints) on these amazing bikini pictures from the Kardashian family vacation down Mexico way in April.
Kim Kardashian, well, she just looks all orange and boobtastic and, let’s be honest, if we were a multi-millionaire rapper or pro athlete, we’d be shagging the stuffing out of her too, even knowing the humiliation and lies and E! reality TV producers handing us fake things to say on camera that would almost certainly follow. Sometimes, the little brain overrides any and all executive branch decision making.
And, for the preggo fetishists among us (or is that amongst, if I’m included, which I am), a peek at the bulging body of Kourtney Kardashian, filled with life from the seed of her unemployed former snowboarding lounge-about boyfriend. Yay. Enjoy.
Check Out the Sizzling Kim Kardashian Bikini Paparazzi Video »
Okay, this is not the time to rip the Kardashians, the rare time, for we finally see them in all their glory, or, let’s say, what they’re good at. Which is looking good in bikinis, even Kourtney, god bless her, pregnant by her idiotic boyfriend once more, holding her own hotness in a bikini, as all the K’s, minus Khloe (excluded for reasons I can only cite as related to national security), took their family vacation down in the Dominican Republic at the end of last month.
And, well, let’s give some credit where it’s due. When they’re not talking or selling or arranging sham marriages for money, they are nice to look at.
For a fuller set of Kardashian family bikini pictures, check out our friends at Celebuzz