Khloe Kardashian

Celebrity Guests Fleeing from Kardashian Wedding

Apparently, once word got out that Kris Jenner was flipping the switch to ‘cash bar’ at the Kim Kardashian and that other dude’s wedding, celebrities began to flee in droves. A pretty hot looking Ciara seemed to have left by herself, a snookered Lindsay Lohan desperately tried not to hurl on her five-finger discounted diamonds, Demi Lovato appeared rather chipper, and even Khloe Kardashian peeled away, desperate to find a still open Black Angus, with her younger hottie hostage half-sister, Kendall Jenner in tow

(Don’t forget to like our Free Kendall Jenner page on Facebook as we gear up for an upcoming rescue attempt of the still salvageable young lass.)

You may take note of the lack of color among the guests at the wedding, as a black and white only dress code was strictly enforced, which I think is a failure of this reboot, because in the original Godfather, they let Mama wear pink. Enjoy.

Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner Uber-Cuteness Summer Bikini Party Candids

While we never received our invitations to the party (lost in the mail, no doubt), the future Kardashian hotties, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner held a bikini party for the 4th of July and, well, we were happy just to get the party photos. As you know, the younger Jenners will eventually be upgrading the entire Kardashian family line with model-like qualities of height, versatility, and a perfectly pat answer to the question of how to obtain world peace. But, for now, just a bunch of fun loving teen girls hanging out in bikinis and roasting some weenies over the summer holiday. Enjoy.

Click HERE for the complete set of Kendall and Kylie 4th of July bikini pictures.

Kylie Jenner Hangs Out on the Beach in Her BikiniOh, by the way, as long as we’re going sweetest taboo here today, we’ve ordered up some brand new Kylie Jenner bikini pictures fresh from the beaches of Malibu. Check ‘em out, explorers. (And don’t forget to Join Us on our Egotastic! Facebook page for all the slightly inappropriate Kardashian family talk.)

VIEWER EVEN MORE WARNNG: Khloe Kardashian Reveals Human-Like Udder on National Television

 

EGAD! PEEK INSIDE AT KHLOE KARDASHIAN NIP SLIP

Say what you will about Anthony Weiner, but his flashes were all of the private message variety (well, except for one little Twitter-tech accident). But there’s really no excuse for the early model Kardashian she-bot, designed in the spitting image of Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews, to be flashing her bare frontal on national television. My god, kids might be seeing this. Or, straight men!

I had a nip slip and I loved it! But my twat is fine!

- Khloe Kardashian on Twitter this morning

I need a bucket.

Khloe Kardashian Looks Surprisingly Ravishing in Cleavetastic Reveal

I’m not sure if it’s the new haircut, or the stylish Goth makeup, or maybe just the after glow from having consumed an entire spring lamb as it lay peacefully asleep in its own meadow burrow, but Khloe Kardashian looked stunning this past evening when out and about on the Tinsel Town party circuit. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of Khloe Kardashain for being the large-beamed member of the Kardashian line of cash-producing she-bots, or the fact that she’s all elbows when jostling on the low post with husband Lamar Odom in driveway pickup games, or the recent notice that Marie Callender’s delivery trucks refuse to pass through her Calabasas neighborhood due to a number of inexplicably violent ambush attacks from the sky, but, when the girl puts it all together, well, magic. Kudos to Khloe for wrapping it all up in a wonderful package. Enjoy.

Holy Cow! Khloe Kardashian Goes Red for Futuristic Spread

You know the survival rule: by the time you’ve seen Khloe Kardashian licking her lips, you’re already dead. So, it is with dreadful delight that we present these brand spanking new shots of Khloe Kardashian in elegant Thunderdome repose in YRB magazine.

How disappointed was Mongo when she found out that the ‘B’ in BDSM didn’t stand for bacon?

You Shall Be Assimilated: The Kardashian Family Christmas Photo

You know that plan you and your friends have in case of zombie attack?

Engage! Now!

(Okay, granted, Pimp Robot Kim is still pretty damn hot. But, pay up, or be assimilated!)

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

The Kardashian She-Bots in Pimp Mode Alpha

As you may have read, The Kardashian she-bots were programmed by inventor Kris Jenner with a third appearance mode earlier this summer, DEADPAN SMILE, to complement their factory-furnished animatronic functions of PIMP and FLIRT. And, might I say, it really makes them seem so much more lifelike. Even gargantuan Khloe Kardashian fooled several children into stepping into her kill zone where she was able to consume them in whole with one large contraction of her gaping maw unit.

Fresh off accusations of onerous lending fees and charges associated with their ‘KardashianKard’ credit card, Kris Jenner rushed the Kardashian she-bots and a new product out to market, ‘KardashianKonfidential’ (get it with the KKs?) a tell-all biography based upon the false memories implanted in the girls’ cranial grids by Kris at the time of their power-on. Apparently, a good portion of the book discusses how Kim Kardashian felt extremely awkward about her body as she was growing up. Of course, it’s always tough to be the girl with the biggest boobs in school. FALSE MEMORY. Back to the laboratory for some tinkering methinks. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame