Khloe Kardashian

VIEWER EVEN MORE WARNNG: Khloe Kardashian Reveals Human-Like Udder on National Television



Say what you will about Anthony Weiner, but his flashes were all of the private message variety (well, except for one little Twitter-tech accident). But there's really no excuse for the early model Kardashian she-bot, designed in the spitting image of Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews, to be flashing her bare frontal on national television. My god, kids might be seeing this. Or, straight men!

I had a nip slip and I loved it! But my twat is fine!

- Khloe Kardashian on Twitter this morning

I need a bucket.

Khloe Kardashian Looks Surprisingly Ravishing in Cleavetastic Reveal

I'm not sure if it's the new haircut, or the stylish Goth makeup, or maybe just the after glow from having consumed an entire spring lamb as it lay peacefully asleep in its own meadow burrow, but Khloe Kardashian looked stunning this past evening when out and about on the Tinsel Town party circuit. Sure, it's easy to make fun of Khloe Kardashain for being the large-beamed member of the Kardashian line of cash-producing she-bots, or the fact that she's all elbows when jostling on the low post with husband Lamar Odom in driveway pickup games, or the recent notice that Marie Callender's delivery trucks refuse to pass through her Calabasas neighborhood due to a number of inexplicably violent ambush attacks from the sky, but, when the girl puts it all together, well, magic. Kudos to Khloe for wrapping it all up in a wonderful package. Enjoy.

Holy Cow! Khloe Kardashian Goes Red for Futuristic Spread

You know the survival rule: by the time you've seen Khloe Kardashian licking her lips, you're already dead. So, it is with dreadful delight that we present these brand spanking new shots of Khloe Kardashian in elegant Thunderdome repose in YRB magazine.

How disappointed was Mongo when she found out that the 'B' in BDSM didn't stand for bacon?

You Shall Be Assimilated: The Kardashian Family Christmas Photo

You know that plan you and your friends have in case of zombie attack?

Engage! Now!

(Okay, granted, Pimp Robot Kim is still pretty damn hot. But, pay up, or be assimilated!)

Photo credit:

The Kardashian She-Bots in Pimp Mode Alpha

As you may have read, The Kardashian she-bots were programmed by inventor Kris Jenner with a third appearance mode earlier this summer, DEADPAN SMILE, to complement their factory-furnished animatronic functions of PIMP and FLIRT. And, might I say, it really makes them seem so much more lifelike. Even gargantuan Khloe Kardashian fooled several children into stepping into her kill zone where she was able to consume them in whole with one large contraction of her gaping maw unit.

Fresh off accusations of onerous lending fees and charges associated with their 'KardashianKard' credit card, Kris Jenner rushed the Kardashian she-bots and a new product out to market, 'KardashianKonfidential' (get it with the KKs?) a tell-all biography based upon the false memories implanted in the girls' cranial grids by Kris at the time of their power-on. Apparently, a good portion of the book discusses how Kim Kardashian felt extremely awkward about her body as she was growing up. Of course, it's always tough to be the girl with the biggest boobs in school. FALSE MEMORY. Back to the laboratory for some tinkering methinks. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame

Kendall Jenner Barely Escapes Being Devoured By Khloe Kardashian at Burlesque Premiere

Decked out in an entirely age-appropriate skin-tight black leather dress, the taller, leaner, future hotter Kardashian little sister, Kendall Jenner, was kept on guard all night at the Burlesque premiere upon being informed that older half-sister Khloe Kardashian intended to consume her in a fit of jealousy before the evening's end. Various unnamed sources claim to have seen Khloe toting salt and pepper shakers and mumbling like the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil as she prepared a pot o' boil for the dark demise of the little sister who remains on a collision course with the vapid empire of the Kardashian robot sister clan.

Updates as warranted.

Photo credit: Fame

1-2-Khloe’s Coming For You

Yes, Mama, I'll eat my vegetables and do my chores!

Photo credit: Fame