The Kardashian Kollection at Sears shows the limitless possibilities of combining four of the seven Deadly Sins with a hungry staff of foreign sweatshop labor.
Oh, where to begin when the Gorgons get together for a Sears lingerie photoshoot.
It’s rare to see all three Kardashian sisters together for any cause, short of a staged wedding, or a bloody hit on a rival reality show family; Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have been out and about New York City lately, pretending to run a business for the cameras, but typically Khloe Kardashian remains shackled in the sub-basement of the Calabasas compound during ‘R’ ending months, when red tide leaves the Khloe feeling a bit blue. Well, somebody released the Kraken for this 3-in-1 lingerie photoshoot for Sears (and, btw, I double dog dare you to buy your significant other lingerie from Sears next Valentine’s Day, see how much nookie that gets you).
Take a moment to process your feelings. And, enjoy.
Apparently, once word got out that Kris Jenner was flipping the switch to ‘cash bar’ at the Kim Kardashian and that other dude’s wedding, celebrities began to flee in droves. A pretty hot looking Ciara seemed to have left by herself, a snookered Lindsay Lohan desperately tried not to hurl on her five-finger discounted diamonds, Demi Lovato appeared rather chipper, and even Khloe Kardashian peeled away, desperate to find a still open Black Angus, with her younger hottie hostage half-sister, Kendall Jenner in tow
(Don’t forget to like our Free Kendall Jenner page on Facebook as we gear up for an upcoming rescue attempt of the still salvageable young lass.)
You may take note of the lack of color among the guests at the wedding, as a black and white only dress code was strictly enforced, which I think is a failure of this reboot, because in the original Godfather, they let Mama wear pink. Enjoy.
While we never received our invitations to the party (lost in the mail, no doubt), the future Kardashian hotties, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner held a bikini party for the 4th of July and, well, we were happy just to get the party photos. As you know, the younger Jenners will eventually be upgrading the entire Kardashian family line with model-like qualities of height, versatility, and a perfectly pat answer to the question of how to obtain world peace. But, for now, just a bunch of fun loving teen girls hanging out in bikinis and roasting some weenies over the summer holiday. Enjoy.
Oh, by the way, as long as we’re going sweetest taboo here today, we’ve ordered up some brand new Kylie Jenner bikini pictures fresh from the beaches of Malibu. Check ‘em out, explorers. (And don’t forget to Join Us on our Egotastic! Facebook page for all the slightly inappropriate Kardashian family talk.)
Say what you will about Anthony Weiner, but his flashes were all of the private message variety (well, except for one little Twitter-tech accident). But there’s really no excuse for the early model Kardashian she-bot, designed in the spitting image of Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews, to be flashing her bare frontal on national television. My god, kids might be seeing this. Or, straight men!
I had a nip slip and I loved it! But my twat is fine!
- Khloe Kardashian on Twitter this morning
I need a bucket.
I’m not sure if it’s the new haircut, or the stylish Goth makeup, or maybe just the after glow from having consumed an entire spring lamb as it lay peacefully asleep in its own meadow burrow, but Khloe Kardashian looked stunning this past evening when out and about on the Tinsel Town party circuit. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of Khloe Kardashain for being the large-beamed member of the Kardashian line of cash-producing she-bots, or the fact that she’s all elbows when jostling on the low post with husband Lamar Odom in driveway pickup games, or the recent notice that Marie Callender’s delivery trucks refuse to pass through her Calabasas neighborhood due to a number of inexplicably violent ambush attacks from the sky, but, when the girl puts it all together, well, magic. Kudos to Khloe for wrapping it all up in a wonderful package. Enjoy.
You know the survival rule: by the time you’ve seen Khloe Kardashian licking her lips, you’re already dead. So, it is with dreadful delight that we present these brand spanking new shots of Khloe Kardashian in elegant Thunderdome repose in YRB magazine.
How disappointed was Mongo when she found out that the ‘B’ in BDSM didn’t stand for bacon?